Words! What do they mean?

Last week I went to Old Navy and bought a lot of pants. Five pairs. I don’t remember the last time I owned five pairs of pants. (One of them is actually leggings, and leggings are not pants, but they are all leg coverings and it sounds more impressive if I call them all pants and you’re not my mom.)

I bought shorts (actual shorts!); jeans ($12.50 on the sale rack, flares that are at least a foot too long and will need to be hemmed, which should make them bootcut); the aforementioned leggings; and these:

pixie surplus

That’s the “Pixie” on the left, essentially a cigarette pant, and the “Surplus” on the right, an almost perfect recreation of the army pants from the 80s, which I used to buy at surplus shops in the 90s and loved.

Interesting thing, though. The Surplus is described as a straight leg pant. It most certainly is not. It is tapered. Why would you call it straight? It’s not like words mean whatever you want them to. Oh, but I guess it is. Because fashion.

I love them. But they are not straight leg pants.

It’s really happening!

When you plan something for a long time, it can stop feeling like it will ever actually happen. So each time I manage to actually complete something for my handmade wardrobe, I feel like I just beat the system and also won the lottery.

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I bought this fabric at Birch in June 2010. It was really hard to finally cut into it. What if I fucked up?!

Spoiler, I did not fuck up. Even though I made changes to the pattern that I had not actually tried in my muslin. Because I am a crazy mofo.

One thing I did do in the muslin, which I haven’t yet done with the top, is darts in the back to accommodate my small waist. I cut the pattern pieces a bit narrower and took out some length in the waist, which seems to have maybe done the trick! I will give it a few wearings–darts will be very easy to add later if I feel like they are needed.

So, my first Simplicity 3835, a pattern I’ve been meaning to fill my wardrobe with for many, many years, is DONE. (Probably.)

An Important Conversation, Transcribed and Expanded

My sister sent me this on Pinterest:

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(Click for full graphic guide)

New goal: I’m going to reread all of the Nancy Drew books and count the euphemisms for fat that are used to describe Bess. Also the various ways George is described as a lesbian, but has a boyfriend.

K: I have never read the books.

I have read enough of them for both of us. Bess and George are Nancy’s non-threatening cousins who help her solve mysteries. They are both female, but George is boyish. You can tell, because she goes by George. Bess is sweet and a little bit dumb, or, in literary shorthand, fat.

On the plus side, Nancy rarely needs help from her boyfriend, Ned, and frequently rescues her kidnapped father, Carson Drew, a successful attorney whose cases often overlap with Nancy’s (a fact that is often revealed in the third act and comes as a complete surprise only to Nancy and Carson). Her closest relationship, other than those with her father, Bess, and George, is with the Drews’ housekeeper, Hannah Gruen; Nancy’s mother is dead.

Frankly, these novels were ridiculously progressive, fat- and gender nonconformity-phobia aside. I would maybe improve the series by renaming it Nancy Gruen, Private Eye, but that would take us into an alternate timeline where Hannah raising Nancy is acknowledged more fully.

Wardrobe Update: another Dress No. 1

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I somehow never took a full-length shot of this dress. It’s Essex Linen in Lime.

I made the size XL again, but with a few mods this time:
-I cut the back in two pieces and seamed it down the center, to accommodate my narrow shoulders and waist.
-I did a dartless FBA on the front, adding 2 inches.
-ETA: Totally forgot that I cut the skirt at a slightly less severe A, probably about an inch further in at the hem (so four total).
-Contrast fabric for the binding, which I also used to hem the top of the pockets.

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The XL is the right number of inches around for my full bust size, but these two changes made it fit better. Also it looks REALLY good with the contrast trim, so I’ll be doing that from now on. Goodness knows I have enough random fat quarters lying around. Up next: Dress No. 2.

In other sewing news, I have reached the conclusion that I need to buy more linen and some chambray and probably cotton lawn, because quilting cotton is just not going to cut it for clothing. Unfortunately, I have a ton of quilting cotton I want to use for clothes. I’m thinking I will use some of it anyway (I think the Simplicity 3835 can handle it), and use other pieces for trim, like shown here but also for things like a contrast strip at the bottom of a top. I’m also looking for some nice plaid shirting, but I have a specific idea in my mind of what it will look like and I haven’t found any actual fabric that looks like the fabric in my brain. This is pretty nice if I don’t find what I’m looking for.

But before I do any more sewing for my personal wardrobe, I have some Ren Faire Vikings to outfit.

In Which L.A. Winter Tries To Kill Me

I know, I know, Los Angeles doesn’t have weather! LOLOL!

Well, we do. And maybe I am a jerk for complaining when our days are near 70 but our nights are 30 degrees colder. The swing in temperature is not good for the system. I am waking up every morning with my nose running like a leaky faucet. Today I sneezed so many times, and so hard, that I almost fell over.

I spend about half of my days thinking I am getting sick. I’m out of commission enough that I might as well actually be sick.

…I forgot what else I was going to say because I had a five minute coughing fit.

PLEASE SEND COCOA.

New knitting pattern, and a KAL

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First up is Obtuse, a top-down shallow triangular shawl that’s easy enough for a beginner but interesting enough for a more advanced knitter. I knitted most of the sample while watching TV, if that tells you anything much.

I bet you have a skein of variegated sock yarn sitting in your stash, quietly mocking you because what the heck can you knit with variegated yarn? Well, you can knit this.

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And in other news: I’m hosting a knit-along for Dragon Rider! I’ve never hosted a KAL before so I’m pretty excited. Check out the details here in my Ravelry group. There’s a discount code for the pattern, and there will be prizes.

Now for something a little bit lighter.

Photo on 2015-02-13 at 14.18

Or darker, I guess? Because I am talking about that purple lipstick. HOW GREAT IS THAT PURPLE LIPSTICK. It’s Revlon Colorburst Matte Balm in Shameless, and it was about $6 at Target.

I already want matching glasses and a matching velvet choker and why did I get black doc martens instead of purple?

BRB, just realized I could make my HAIR match.

I don’t give a damn about Spider-Man.

Spider-Man is Sam’s all-time favorite superhero. He loves him so much! He was so excited last fall when he saw a Spider-Man costume in the Halloween aisle that he begged to buy it with his own money (I bought it for him). He plays him when we play Marvel Super-Heroes. He LOVES Spider-Man.

So I really want to be excited that Marvel has reclaimed the film rights from Sony, and Spidey can be a part of the MCU. But I can’t.

There have been hundreds of male-led superhero movies. HUNDREDS. Half a dozen of them were about Spider-Man. The first superhero movie–Mask of Zorro–was made in 1920. The first superhero movie with a female lead–Supergirl–was made in 1984. There have been five since. FIVE. At least one of which was direct-to-video. There won’t be another until Wonder Woman in 2017 and Captain Marvel in 2018. (Side note, Captain Marvel was supposed to come out on my 40th birthday. Now it’s being pushed back several months for yet another Spidey movie.)

And don’t even get me started on non-white superheroes. In 1977 there was apparently a blaxploitation movie called Abar, the First Black Superman. If we count it, the grand total is ONE. (I should say that I am not counting superhero teams here, just solo leads. But even if I count teams, nada.) ETA: sorry, I missed the Blade movies, and have been informed that Steel and Meteor Man were also men of color. So they are tied with women. Yay.

(Please note that I’m discussing U.S. movies only. Source.)

Will was excited when the Spider-Man news hit. He imagined Sam’s delight at seeing Spidey interact with Thor. I wish I had the privilege of being excited. Sam will never know what it’s like to have no superheroes to represent his gender. Where are the superheroes who look like Grace?

My daughter is growing up in a world that tells her, every day, by omission if not overtly, that SHE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. SHE CANNOT BE A HERO. And that is unacceptable.

So no, I do not give a damn about Spider-Man.

A Tunic for Riding Dragons

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Sometimes yarn is a real pain in the butt. I was sent this gorgeous SweetGeorgia for a sweater idea I had in 2013, and I tried to knit it but it wouldn’t cooperate. So I set it aside, and one day–almost a year later!–it dawned on me that the tunic I kept thinking about would look perfect in this very yarn. So I made it instead.

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I’m not even sorry.

Dragon Rider is available on Ravelry. EU customers will be redirected to LoveKnitting.