(Just FYI, I’m probably going to spoil the heck out of Miyazaki’s PONYO.)

Remember after Grace was born, when I had a nightmare that we were giving her up for adoption? I blogged it right here. The worst thing in the dream (other than, you know, giving away my baby) was Sam, sobbing in his father’s arms outside because he wanted to keep her.

I both love and hate PONYO. I love it for the same reasons I love all of Miyazaki’s movies (in a word, magic). I hate it because it makes me cry. And not just cry in the way that one cries when something is sad, but cry because I feel like I have been punched in the sternum.

It’s the scene when Sōsuke loses Ponyo and runs into the ocean calling for her, crying, and his mother runs after him to keep him from going into the ocean forever. I feel broken every time I watch it. It doesn’t help that Sam gets agitated by it, too.

Because in that scene, Sōsuke is Sam, and Ponyo is Grace, and my heart is on the outside of my body in two pieces, one for each of my children.

One thought on “PDSD

  1. Katherine

    November 13, 2010 at 9:26pm

    Moments of loss in books and movies seem to hit me the hardest. That’s a feeling, that once you’ve felt it, you never forget and it comes back way too easily.
    .-= Katherine´s last post ..November! =-.

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