I dreamed we were giving Grace up for adoption. That we’d had her for a lesbian couple we knew, and were bringing her over to them. I was sitting on their sofa, holding her and explaining cloth diaper laundry to them. And I was thinking that biologically she was ours, and wondering if I could stand to be the birth mom who changes her mind. Because I knew I couldn’t stand to give her up. And Sam was outside in Will’s arms, sobbing because he didn’t want to give her up.

I don’t think I have ever had such an awful dream.

4 thoughts on “Horrible.

  1. existentialwaitress

    January 11, 2010 at 10:16am

    I think post-pregnancy hormones make you have some whacked out dreams. When my son was born I dreamed that my hubs and I drove off a cliff, and as we were about to hit the ground and die, I remembered that our newborn son was at home in his bassinet all alone without anyone to care for him (I know this makes no sense, but it was a dream of course). It was the most horrible, heart-wrenching dream ever. I still remember is vivdily after 6 years.

  2. Sara

    January 11, 2010 at 12:07pm

    Oh boy, I do remember the awful post-pregnancy nightmares. Yours sounds like a doozy. I’m sorry that you had to endure it!

  3. amie

    January 11, 2010 at 1:08pm

    I am sorry you had such an awful dream. I had horrible nightmares too when Nola was a newborn. I had this recurring dream that I had gone back to work but had made no arrangements for Nola and I would realize while at work that she was at home and hungry and I couldn’t get home to her. It was truly horrible.

  4. Jenn

    January 11, 2010 at 9:56pm

    Aw, I have had a few like that. I wake up and just boggle at the stupidness of my brain.

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