Oh, Facebook.

I was just looking through an album of photos taken at an old friend’s wedding. Whenever I came across an adult I didn’t recognize, I scrolled down to see if the picture was tagged. One of them turned out to be an ex-boyfriend of mine. Several pictures later, he turned up again. I looked at the tags both times.

I did not recognize him, and it’s not because he looks very different. He doesn’t. I just forgot what he looks like. Granted, yes, it’s been 13 years. But I am just going to laugh at myself anyway because OMG I FORGOT WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I was going to name him (why the heck not?) but I realized that I always refer to him by first and last name, not in some weird My So-Called Life thing but because of a mix tape I made after we broke up. It wasn’t like all the mix tapes I made for Will when we were separated (which were OMG kind of pukey, and I found one recently but that’s another entry). It was a mix tape for me, because I was angry. I had dumped him after some fairly major transgressions (and also realizing that I didn’t really like him very much–awkward!) but I was still ticked off so I made this tape. It was called “Fuck You, [First Name Last Name]” and I have referred to him by his full name ever since. And sure, I could just refer to him by his first name here (it’s Eric) but it just wouldn’t seem right.

I still have the tape, actually, despite not having any way to play it. (Well, I still have a tape deck, but my stereo is not hooked up. Also I might have a walkman somewhere, but good grief there is enough of a AA battery shortage around here without me adding to it for this.) I really want to hunt it down so I can look at the track listing, but it’s under the stairs and I don’t know if you’ve seen all the stuff I have crammed under there but Trust Me, you do not want me to start digging now. I might not get out again until Christmas.

So, anyway. I do not have a point at all. Unless it’s to out the fact that it is no longer true if I say that I have no idea what any of my exes are up to. I mean, I still have no idea what he’s up to, but I know he was in a wedding recently. And by extension, I know that he still lives in the Hudson Valley (probably) and is still alive (almost certainly).

And also that maybe I am not going to look at Facebook anymore.

4 thoughts on “Oh, Facebook.

  1. Swistle

    November 9, 2009 at 7:02pm

    Joan Jett is awesome for such mix tapes.

  2. oslowe

    November 10, 2009 at 8:44am

    You made me a mix tape when we were seperated? Man, I remember making you a mix CD. Really upbeat stuff, as I recall. (retch)

  3. Kim

    November 11, 2009 at 11:04am

    On the whole, I’m glad I’ve eschewed the Facebook thing. It’s like it rewards twisted nostagia. And also everyone seems all about “look how fabulous I am and what great parties I’m going to that you didn’t know about.” Meh.

    (See? I commented on your interesting post! I hereby validate you and declare you a fascinating person!) Heh – that last punctuation came out kinda like a pirate smiley. Arrrr!

  4. leah

    November 12, 2009 at 6:36am

    it’s really weird the “static” it conjures up in our minds and hearts when we see these previous life people.

    i wonder if this is what they mean in all those cheesy quotes, “it’s better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all”?

    maybe they had facebook back then :)

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