Another post about my 1996 journal.

This is going to be awesome. So, so awesome. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Here is some Serious Drama:

Stain

this shirt you gave me
hangs on my body like
a tattered rag
it breathes you into me
and I don’t want it to
it smells like you
even though I tried
to wash you out of it
and you never wore it anyway
I didn’t ask for your heart
but you gave it to me
taunted me
I never asked for those games
you played with my mind
my desires
you took me against my will
then cast me aside
when it became inconvenient
forcing me to lose
my disillusions about you
you and me
what we could be (but never will)
all I wanted was you
to be my friend
I wish I could wipe my mouth clean
of the fact that
you ever happened

WOWSERS. For one thing, I have absolutely no idea who this could be about. Maybe it’s fiction? I think it must be fiction. I WANT IT TO BE FICTION OKAY? And I assure you that if it is true, it is full of, um, metaphors. Good grief.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.

Guess what I got in my inbox the other day. Go on, guess.

If you guessed that I got an email from my father full of pictures he took of me right around the time I was writing all this dreck, YOU’D BE RIGHT! Please enjoy.

Annika #10-Edit Annika #5tif-Edit-2

WASN’T I JUST THE CUTEST. OMG. (Photos copyright Lou Barranti. Don’t be a dick.)

(For more of my age 17 bad poetry, check out the rest of the nostalgia category. Not for the faint of heart. Yowsa.)

11 thoughts on “Another post about my 1996 journal.

  1. nova

    September 10, 2009 at 11:23am

    “Please enjoy.”

    OMG CRACKING UP FROM THAT.

    This is beautiful. Love this! You’ve almost inspired me to post some of the dreck I was writing at that age… only, I am not so brave.
    .-= nova´s last blog ..The New Look =-.

  2. Cazzle

    September 10, 2009 at 11:29am

    Oh Annika, you are adorable in those pics.

    I love your dreck, it’s just as emo-tastic and angsty as the crap I used to write. Hurrah!

  3. chez shoes

    September 10, 2009 at 1:16pm

    Not sure which is cuter, the pics or the fiction!

  4. Lucretia

    September 11, 2009 at 4:42am

    It’s uncanny, all teenage poetry seems to follow the same sort of formula. Reminds me of some stuff I wrote (that I am still fond of!)

  5. Jim

    September 12, 2009 at 10:33am

    I think it was Eric, ahh – good times

  6. Annika

    September 12, 2009 at 11:03am

    Nope, that was at least a year later and while I have not unearthed that particular journal yet I don’t remember him ever warranting any angsty poetry. Though I might have written some love poems to that one guy from Gateway. Whatever his name was.

  7. courtney

    September 15, 2009 at 12:34pm

    That poem is so much epic. EPIC I TELL YOU.

    I love those pictures!! They are so fab. You remind me of someone and the NAME IS RIGHT THERE ON MY TONGUE but also it’s not because asdfjaslkdfads I can’t think it to type it. Wah. If it ever comes to me, I will let you know.
    .-= courtney´s last post ..The Winners Are… =-.

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