I give up.

I’m late renewing the registration on our car. I don’t ever mail it anymore, since the six month ordeal last year that involved sending in the Vespa’s insurance information THREE TIMES and each time receiving a letter stating that we cannot complete the registration without insurance information, which culminated in a citation and Will taking unpaid time off to go to court to prove that it WAS registered. I’ve tried three times in the last week to go renew the car’s registration in person. (Of course the registrations renew six months apart, so I have to do this twice a year.)

First attempt, the line of cars to get into the parking lot went all the way down the block. (Locals: it’s the DMV on Formosa, and the line went almost all the way to Target.) Um, no.

Second attempt: line was only three cars long and contained within the parking lot. Waited 15 minutes. Not ONE person exited the building. Strike two.

Third attempt (today): No parking spots, but I am the first person in “line.” Man conducting inspection waves me over, tells me to park in spot that is being vacated. Specifically asks if I am there for an inspection, and I tell him I am there for registration renewal. (That is important.) Go inside, get a number. Ack, 108 and they are on 87. Sam, fortunately, is in good spirits. We brought balloons, and he wants to go up and down the ramp and between the rows of seats. No problem, he is not bothering a soul. I follow him around for half an hour, maybe 40 minutes. With two numbers to go until ours, a security guard appears. OH BOY, HERE WE GO. He tells me I cannot allow Sam to run back and forth. I ask why, he says, “They don’t like it.” Oh, fine. I tell him that I can allow Sam to go back and forth (he was not running) and not bother anyone, or I can force him to stop and he will scream and bother everyone. He says, “You have to do something.” So I pick Sam up and he screams. One number till ours. It will be fine. And then a woman appears and says, “Do you have a 2006 Mazda?” Yes, I do. I briefly wonder if she is going to give me grief for my expired tags (gee, why do you think I’m here?) but instead she tells me I have to move my car, that is not a parking space. “But I was TOLD to park there.” “No you weren’t, you have to move it NOW.” So we go to move the car, losing our place in line in the process. Sam loses his mind at being forced to leave. He refuses to get in the car and I have to force him into his seat. We pull out of the perfectly good parking space and wait in the lot along with everyone else on earth. Sam screams and screams. I beg him to stop and tell him we will go back inside as soon as there is a spot. A man is sitting in a pickup waiting for someone inside. I briefly consider getting out and telling him what a selfish ass he is, taking up a spot when so many people are waiting. I don’t. His friend comes out and gets in the cab. I turn on my signal. They sit there. And sit there. And sit there. I know they aren’t waiting for anyone else because there are no more seats in the vehicle. I start to cry, too, and we leave.

I can’t do this again. I am defeated.

11 thoughts on “I give up.

  1. Yeahian

    March 17, 2009 at 12:24pm

    Join AAA and do it at their offices which are open on Saturday. Or do it online. Or don’t you know anyone who’d trade kid-watching sessions with you so you don’t have to drag him along?

  2. Cazzle

    March 17, 2009 at 11:47am

    *hugs* I am so sorry for you. What a colossal pain in the arse.

    It’s a shame they don’t have a way to do it online – it’d be SO MUCH easier for you.

  3. Annika

    March 17, 2009 at 11:48am

    If there is a way to do it online, I am going to DIE of embarrassment. Going to find out now.

  4. B

    March 17, 2009 at 11:54am

    I think you need a body guard to deal with security guards. That’s what I’ve decided. The body guard can say stupid stuff back to the security guards. If I had gotten more sleep the past few nights, I’d think of something clever as an example.

    B’s last blog post..more growth

  5. Annika

    March 17, 2009 at 11:58am

    Well, apparently I can renew online. That was not an option last year, or if it was we couldn’t use it for some reason. I am so relieved that I’m not even embarrassed.

    The security guard thing, though. I just don’t know what to do. The bodyguard idea is pretty sound. I swear to god, people see me allowing Sam to ACT LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD and they just lose their minds. Rules are made up or enforced only on us and I just don’t get it. I am thinking of building a compound in the middle of nowhere so we do not ever have to interact with other humans.

  6. ChiaLynn

    March 17, 2009 at 11:58am

    I, um… always do mine online. But my car’s so old it doesn’t need to be smogged. Here’s the link – you’ll have to find the online renewal code on the paperwork they sent you: http://dmv.ca.gov/online/vrir/vr_top2.htm

    Alternatively, could you make an appointment for a DMV farther from your house? The one near my house has been pretty mellow the two times I’ve been, and then I could take you to lunch.

    ChiaLynn’s last blog post..I need adult supervision, Part II

  7. chez shoes

    March 17, 2009 at 12:34pm

    Just popping in to make the “join auto club” recommendation. There’s one in the same building as that Target, and they are SO nice every time I go there.

    Huh, I didn’t know you could do it online either.

    The security guard thing though? I dunno. I have a theory about security guards, based on my very unscientific sampling of those employed by the museums and libraries I’ve worked at: they’re all wanna-be cops who like bossing people around for no reason. And generally are kind of weird to begin with. No offense to any readers who might be security guards (yeah, that’s likely).

  8. Stephanie

    March 17, 2009 at 3:10pm

    I had my own long drawn out DMV nightmare a couple years back with renewing my license. It started because I mailed it in and forgot to check a box and ended up with my having to re-take the written *and* driving tests. My renewal came up again this year and I was so stressed out that *something* was going to happen again. Doing it online for whatever reason was not an option for me (though it is an option in general) so I mailed it again. I was so relieved when it came in the mail as expected and on time. The DMV gives me hives. It seriously freaks me out.

    It really is weird about you and security guards though. Maybe you have a special aura that only security guards can see and it says, “Mess with me and my kid, we love it.” Like a dog whistle.

    Stephanie’s last blog post..Hit a wall.

  9. Catherine

    March 17, 2009 at 8:45pm

    I am ALL ABOUT the AAA membership. Not only can you conduct nearly all of your DMV business there, you get a variety of discounts at amusement parks, stores, restaurants, and the like. (I also very much like their Westways magazine, because I am eleventy years old.) Oh, and the whole roadside assistance thing is GREAT, as is them making you a plastic key so you can have a spare that you keep in your wallet in case you lose your car key. LOVE.

    When I was 19 I went to the West Covina DMV to get a new ID. The woman behind the counter told me I’d better get a new ID stat or else I could get DEPORTED. ME, who was BORN HERE. DEPORTED. I was so gobsmacked I couldn’t say anything, and then when I told my sister in the car what had happened she made a U-turn and drove right back to the DMV to give the woman’s supervisor a piece of her mind.

    Thelma. Thelma was her name. I’ve never forgotten it.

    So, for those of you non-Caucasians who happen to go to the DMV in West Covina and get Thelma to “help” you, tell her I say fuck you very much.

    Catherine’s last blog post..I’m Not Dead

  10. leah

    March 17, 2009 at 8:59pm

    i can’t say that i blame you for giving up, that was a nightmare. i’m surprised you didn’t stab anyone b/c clearly they have it coming ;)

    leah’s last blog post..stuff that is bothering me lately

Comments are closed.