OK, clearly this has to be a movie. Or even better, a fake movie.

We need a poster and a tagline. I think Katherine has commissioned her brother for the poster but it never hurts to have more than one.

“Don’t Drink the Water” needs to be saved as the tagline for BAD FOUNTAIN II, in which the fountain in question is a high school water fountain.

“This Fountain Will Tear Your Soul Apart” would require calling the movie Clive Barker Presents BAD FOUNTAIN instead of Wes Craven. I am fine with that. Alternately, no matter who presents it, we could use “This Fountain Will Drink Your Soul.”

Talk to me, folks. I’d make it a contest but I am incapable of mailing prizes so let’s not be formal about it.

(If you are wondering what the hell I am talking about, check out the comments on yesterday’s post.)

9 thoughts on “BAD FOUNTAIN

  1. Mary

    March 5, 2009 at 12:42pm

    Okay, so I given it some thught (five seconds and then started typing, but still) and think I know what’s going on.

    Maybe, just maybe, that wasn’t a security guard at all. Maybe he is a guardian and he doesn’t want Sam near the fountain because HE KNOWS that it is really a secret gate to Hell, or some other BAD place. That would totally happen in a bad fake movie. Maybe even a real, bad movie and I’m just remembering he plot and thinking it’s origial here. I don’t know.
    It’s hard to type with an eye patch on. Dizzying. Aaaar!

    Mary’s last blog post..This Little Piggy, Modified for the Times

  2. Ewokmama

    March 5, 2009 at 2:41pm

    This totally reminds me of when I was helping my friend and her husband move…we moved the mattress only to find his porn collection. The funniest was “Bad Housewives!”

    Ewokmama’s last blog post..And I Quote…

  3. nana

    March 5, 2009 at 5:52pm

    the strange thing is, that guard is really a wannabe actor waiting to star in this film!! gotta luv LA

  4. Amy

    March 5, 2009 at 9:08pm

    “Evil Springs Eternal”


    “Cool, Clear Wickedness”


    “It’s–you know–bad

  5. Crystal

    March 6, 2009 at 6:27am

    And carrying on with Mary’s security guard/guardian theory, in a really TERRIBLE movie, the reason that he wouldn’t be bothered by other children playing by the BAD FOUNTAIN is that Sam is “special” (Sam as in the character of Sam, not your child Sam, although that Sam is very special himself) and Sam is the KEY that can open the BAD FOUNTAIN.

    The two must never meet! Can’t you see that!?! THE TWO MUST NEVER MEET!!!!

  6. Crystal

    March 6, 2009 at 6:29am

    Alternate TERRIBLE twist ending to the film: The security guardian is Sam from the future, trying to prevent the BAD FOUNTAIN from unleashing its… badness.

    Crystal’s last blog post..Pay it Forward for Free Stuff Meme

  7. B

    March 6, 2009 at 6:56am

    Okay, Evil Springs Eternal is just too perfect.

    B’s last blog post..As Predicted

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