So I went to change Vivian’s diaper this afternoon and was gripped with terror. UH-OH SHE HAS GIRL PARTS WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOOO? You know, because I have only had my own girl parts for 30 years, seven months, and some days. And THEN, as soon as I got over THAT, I had to figure out How To Put On A Disposable Diaper. It was way more complicated than I anticipated. Or less complicated. Maybe that was the problem.
BUT THEN. Then I met my match: The Diaper Genie. Folks, those things are CRAZY. I do not know how they work. I like to think that I am reasonably intelligent, perhaps even above average, but this thing was well beyond my abilities. I hope Sara was able to get it functioning again after I was through with it.
It is possible that I am Learning Disabled in the diaper-changing portion of the brain.
(P.S. After my ordeal I called Will and do you know what he told me? “Wipe front to back.” As far as I know he has never changed a girl’s diaper and yet he knows how it’s done. The diaper-changing portion of his brain is Exemplary.)
One time we had a diaper genie. I bought it from a used children’s clothing store that was going out of business for $5 and thought I was so cool for getting it for so cheap. Never, ever used it. I think because it was so intimidating.
Stephanie’s last blog post..28 Weeks
Uh, I can’t contribute anything except “Wipe front to back.” So, Go Will!
DropEdge’s last blog post..Let Me Tell You What I Know
Also, if I have a boy, it’s going to be *so freaky* at first, despite the fact that I have three younger brothers whom I babysat all the time from the age of 10 up (my age, not theirs)(they were babies)(until they weren’t).
Stephanie’s last blog post..28 Weeks
I’m with Stephanie – if I get a boy, I’ll be all “WHA!?!?!” and that’s after spending most of my teenage years babysitting the diaper clad boys across the street. I mean, the first diaper I changed? A boy. So if I could handle it at 13, what the hell is wrong with me now in my 30′s thinking, “But what if this baby has BOY PARTS?!?!?”
And diaper genies are ridiculous. I’ve come across them at certain stores’ “Mother’s rooms” and I’m always jamming them and running from the bathroom as fast as possible.
B’s last blog post..And I Quote Again
i have to agree that the diaper genies make no sense. we used one after luke was born and i grew to appreciate it but i do recall not understanding it for a while and wasted bags.
husband sounds like a keeper :) (not that you needed me to tell you that).
Oh, B, that makes me feel so much better. Also, I just googled to try to find out how the damn things work and every single result was either a place to buy one or a blog post complaining about how they are impossible to use.
IT ISN’T JUST ME!
Bless you, Internet. I am never alone as long as I have you.
(Also, to B and Stephanie: boys are so easy! You can borrow Sam for practice if you like.)
LOL. The first time I had to change one of my nephews i was all, What do I do with all this…stuff??? I was always worried about getting peed on mid-change. Girls don’t present that kind of problem.
Dreamybee’s last blog post..A Visual Aid
I had never even heard of a Diaper Genie before this post! Wikipedia makes it sound ridiculously easy, though I suspect it is all vicious lies, because we know how reliable a source it is. Hmmph.
Having had children of both genders, I have to say I found the boy more difficult to change than the girls. And the diaper genie, my son had one and threw it out after a few uses. Too many problems. And me, after all these years, I put a disposable diaper on the kid backwards! So much for experience.
grandmere013’s last blog post..Self Fulfilling Prophecy
I have one of each too, and found the boy to be MUCH easier to change!!
Diaper Genies, however….. still confound me!! I’m very glad we had a cheaper knockoff version! (I just kept a vented box of baking soda inside to control odor. Worked really well.)
Jaime’s last blog post..I swear he doesn’t watch horror movies…
I’ve never had an easy time changing a diaper. Every baby was a squirmy, pissing nightmare.
It’s why I refuse to do it anymore.
It’s also a part of my origin story.
The Diaper Genie was not harmed during this assignment. The short answer to what happened is that the Genie has a two-part opening: Part 1 opens to put diapers in, Part 2 opens to take the diapers out. You were opening Part 2. Honest mistake!
Thank you again! We’ll return the favor anytime.
I remember being freaked out by it when I first encountered one as a nanny. And then I realized – I expected it to DO something. it doesn’t.
All it is is a glorified trash can with a clamp that holds the top closed. That’s it. A colossal rip off.
Any of the other gadgets on it – for twisting or cutting – are just a pain in the butt.