In which I invoke Hitler and invent a fetish

Annika: Excuse me, I have to negotiate with a very short terrorist.

Onion: Good luck! Even if you are violating national security procedures…

Annika: Why, President Bush himself would be powerless against the charms of this half-naked buckaroo. (I am trying to negotiate him into a diaper, having successfully gotten him out of a dirty one. THIS IS MY LIFE.)

Onion: Not wearing a diaper is his right as an American, dangit. Damn liberal nanny state.

Annika: And what of my right to not be peed on? This isn’t Nazi Germany, you know.

Onion: …touche. Although if my understanding is correct, Germany is all about being peed on.

Annika: Those Nazis loooooove to be peed on! And worse.

Onion: Oh, Germany… Although Austria’s putting up a good fight for Most Fucked Up Country.

Annika: Well, Austria was occupied by the Nazis for some time.

Onion: So in the end, all the worst sexual perversions go back to WWII?

Annika: Pretty much; a few can be traced back to WWI.

Onion: Such as? …I suppose amputee fetishes, but I’d trace that back to like, the Civil War.

Annika: Well, mostly the fetish euphemistically referred to as fox-holing.

Onion: Excuse me while I consult urban dictionary.

Annika: Do tell me if it’s in there; I made it up on the spot.

9 thoughts on “In which I invoke Hitler and invent a fetish

  1. Cindy

    July 1, 2008 at 8:53am

    Now that I’m fully awake, I’ve just realized that in my home, I’m likely to be the next one in diapers. I shall negotiate for Mediterranean cruises, boxes of chocolate, and good micro-brewed beer.

    Thanks Sam for teaching me a few tricks of the trade.

    Cindy’s last blog post..If You Love Me

  2. Annika

    July 1, 2008 at 8:59am

    And to think I nearly said “Communist Russia.” Though GOD, imagine the fetish I might have come up with for that conversation!

  3. andrea

    July 2, 2008 at 7:25pm

    Um, you need to come over. You are talking to onions.

Comments are closed.