I didn’t realize until I was in my 30s that I have a dimple. Not dimples, just one. It’s on my left cheek and I am surprised every time I see it. I don’t know if I always had it and didn’t know, or if it only made an appearance once I’d gained weight in my late 20s and early 30s from quitting smoking/having a baby/having another baby/being depressed (in that order).
Last week I felt like I was coming down with something. I had sinus pressure like a bad head cold, but zero phlegm. It’s not that I’m complaining about not having a snotty nose, but it felt…incomplete. Getting sick used to be a quick affair, but now it drags out for weeks. This time I was “lucky,” in that the sinus pressure and wooziness stuck around for a few days but never got worse and went away fairly quickly. But I find that I am still just waiting to get sick for real.
I am so much happier than I was a few months ago. It is night and day. But I still feel tired all the time and overwhelmed about half the time and I just feel that I must be missing some puzzle piece that will make everything right.
People talk at me from the moment I wake up in the morning. I am not a morning person. At all. But I have two small people and one big person who all go from 0 to awake in significantly less time and with significantly less caffeine than it takes me to wake up.
I feel like I am always trying to catch up.
There are so many things that I want to do with myself, with my time, with my life. I am doing so few of them. There isn’t enough time.
I am happy but I am perhaps a little bit dissatisfied.
I’m working on it, but I’m impatient.