Shit or Get Off the Pot

I didn’t realize until I was in my 30s that I have a dimple. Not dimples, just one. It’s on my left cheek and I am surprised every time I see it. I don’t know if I always had it and didn’t know, or if it only made an appearance once I’d gained weight in my late 20s and early 30s from quitting smoking/having a baby/having another baby/being depressed (in that order).

Last week I felt like I was coming down with something. I had sinus pressure like a bad head cold, but zero phlegm. It’s not that I’m complaining about not having a snotty nose, but it felt…incomplete. Getting sick used to be a quick affair, but now it drags out for weeks. This time I was “lucky,” in that the sinus pressure and wooziness stuck around for a few days but never got worse and went away fairly quickly. But I find that I am still just waiting to get sick for real.

I am so much happier than I was a few months ago. It is night and day. But I still feel tired all the time and overwhelmed about half the time and I just feel that I must be missing some puzzle piece that will make everything right.

People talk at me from the moment I wake up in the morning. I am not a morning person. At all. But I have two small people and one big person who all go from 0 to awake in significantly less time and with significantly less caffeine than it takes me to wake up.

I feel like I am always trying to catch up.

There are so many things that I want to do with myself, with my time, with my life. I am doing so few of them. There isn’t enough time.

I am happy but I am perhaps a little bit dissatisfied.

I’m working on it, but I’m impatient.

2 thoughts on “Shit or Get Off the Pot

  1. whitney

    March 3, 2013 at 6:10pm

    “There are so many things that I want to do with myself, with my time, with my life. I am doing so few of them. There isn’t enough time.”

    Gosh, I think I said (almost) the exact same thing to my husband last night. I’m still working on the “happy” part, though, and I’m terribly impatient, too. It’s hard, but here’s to working on it!
    whitney´s last post ..Hello, 2013!

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