It is impossible to do everything I want to do. I’m pretty sure that’s true for everyone, but recently I’ve been finding it impossible to do everything I need to do. Even allowing that some things will be neglected sometimes and that priorities will be cyclical, I was a wreck.
Caring for the children full time, being responsible for their educations and social lives, cooking most of the meals, trying to keep the house clean (well, not filthy, anyway), maintaining my own friendships, not to mention my marriage, and oh yeah–attempting to run a fledgling knitting design business and do occasional freelance work. Plus I still want to write, and I’ve taken up photography again.
Everything was slipping.
So. Once I’ve finished the designs I currently have in-progress and met my deadlines, I am going to take a break from designing. It has been stressing me right the fuck out this year, but I am still not making any money worth talking about. It’s no longer fun like a hobby and the returns are not worth it. So, yes: I am giving up. Maybe. I’m going to knit for my own enjoyment for a while, and design only when the urge strikes and only if I really want to.
Frankly, I am so relieved. You would not even believe it. Last week I started writing something, just a little project I have been wanting to do for a while, and I’m so happy exercising a different part of my brain. I need a break.
Besides, this is the only way I can knit my 13 shawls.