So, that happened.

We had an adventure on Wednesday. Not the good kind. (But if you stick with me there will be Muppets at the end.)

Okay, you know how trucks have this sticker on the back?


Everyone with half a brain knows to stay clear of a truck that’s turning right. Right?

Related (kind of): you know how you’ll be waiting in the right turn lane at a red light, and you creep forward to see if you can turn right on red, and the car that’s going straight will edge forward as you do because the driver is a total dick?

So here’s what happened to us on Wednesday. And I will start by saying: we are all FINE.

Will’s Vespa wouldn’t start (it needs a new battery AND probably has a clogged fuel line – neither of which will be very costly to get fixed but we have to time it just right) so the kids and I put on pants and we all piled into the car.

About two blocks from our building, there was a USPS truck–a semi–stopped at a red light. He was all the way to the left, going straight. Will pulled up alongside him on the right, to turn. While the light was still red, the truck began to pull forward. I thought to myself, I can’t believe a fucking semi is intersection-blocking us.

And then he started to turn right.

And I had just enough time to think, “Holy shit, he is going to kill us” before the truck made contact with the front driver’s side corner of our car.


That’s right, the motherfucker never saw us, and couldn’t hear the impact. Which, amazingly, had been very slight. I got out to survey the damage and…there wasn’t any. The paint was scraped. Seriously, that was IT. Our car is so low that only the (fucking gigantic) tire had hit us.

So then we spent half an hour waiting for the police to show up and take our statement. Because if you have a hit and run, you report it. (I mean, I think so. But I also think you DON’T TURN RIGHT ON RED FROM THE LEFT LANE WITHOUT SIGNALING OR USING YOUR MIRRORS.) After 30 minutes the dispatcher called and said, “I have an officer at [the intersection where we were] and there’s no sign of an accident.” I said, “That’s funny, because we are at [INTERSECTION WHERE WE CLEARLY WERE] and I see no sign of an officer.” Only I wasn’t as sarcastic as I wanted to be. I mostly save that for the internet.

Eventually he found us and took down all our information, and was even nice about the fact that I couldn’t find the current insurance card. And he showed Sam the computer in his car–Sam was very impressed. Just when he was finished with us, a couple of minivans pulled over across the street, fresh from a fender bender. Poor officer.

So that sucked. I’ve been jumpy for days, and really angry. And so goddamn busy OMG.

In an effort to keep from killing everyone, I’ve developed an obsession with “Moving Right Along.” Kermit and Fozzy soothe me. Here:

(YouTube videos never load for me on the first try. Try refreshing the page, or just click here.)

7 thoughts on “So, that happened.

  1. BeckyinVT

    January 13, 2012 at 11:53am

    I had a very similar accident once with one of those souped-up big wheel trucks turning right from the left lane while I was trying to go straight. I ended up having a very sporty set of tire tread marks up my driver side door and over my hood for months…

    So mostly I’m hear to say I feel for you! And I completely understand the jumpiness and the anger.

  2. Cc

    January 13, 2012 at 12:17pm

    Both Shawn and his Dad are truck drivers and I will start by stating that the driver could not have seen you in any of his mirrors based on where you were. You ate completely correct that the driver didn’t even know he hit you.

    Once Shawn was in the outside lane of two left turn lanes, and the large ford truck that was in the inside lane tried to turn into the far right lane we were turning into. The rear tires went up and over his front end and popped his headlight out like you’d pop a zit. We barely even felt it.

    I’m really glad that you guys are ok. I’m pretty sure the driver would have stopped if he’d realized what happened.

    Typically drivers turn from the outside lane wether turning left or right because they have to make a wider turn than a car does. Though he should have used a blinker.

  3. Annika

    January 13, 2012 at 12:19pm

    I”m pretty sure he could have seen us since we were not directly next to him, but a bit back–but that’s really irrelevant. The problem is that he did not use his turn signal AND turned right on red, which a semi should NEVER do.

  4. Laurie Ann

    January 13, 2012 at 12:27pm

    I got hit by a Metro bus once and he never felt it. It did damage my car, though. Although, it was Jamie and that dent was the least of her problems.

    I’m glad you and the moppets (see what I did there?) are okay. Also, that is one of my favorite songs. It’s on my iPod.

  5. Jilliana

    January 13, 2012 at 1:23pm

    A paint store I used to work for had it’s parking lot/main entrance on an alley. The alley was frequently used like a street by semi trucks that had trouble making the turn on an intersection up ahead. I was standing outside with one of my coworkers one day when a semi– that had already had trouble navigating the turn into the alley– comes roaring through. As it goes to turn out of the alley, the back corner of the truck container catches an overhead power line and snaps it, sending sparks and a live line flying down onto the street and knocking out power for half the block.

    The driver just kept going. We were all so busy ducking for cover that we only caught one number from the plate, but we managed to remember the freight line’s name and they got earfuls from both us and the cops.

    Hopefully that jumpy feeling goes away for you soon. I’ll admit though, after getting in an accident with a semi nine years ago, I still get skittish when I’m too close to those big ass tires on the freeway.

  6. Lucas

    February 1, 2012 at 6:20pm

    I’m quite glad you guys are all safe. I’d imagine it’d be like getting sideswiped by an iceberg.

    I also love Movin’ Right Along. My little sister had it on a Muppet Sing-Along video when she was 3, so it got played continuously, along with Muppet versions of Splish Splash and Kokomo.

  7. CosmicAvatar

    February 4, 2012 at 6:04am

    Jeez. I’m glad you guys got through it OK.

    (I like that song too.)

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