Through The Looking Glass

I drank something I shouldn’t have. It was laced with caffeine and loaded with sugar and now I am being kicked, elbowed, prodded, and probably laughed at. Baby is on a sugar/caffeine high and going nuts. Unfortunately the baby isn’t big enough yet for Will to feel the barrage from the outside.

This has now officially turned into a Baby Journal. I am very sorry.

…and “Somebody Put Something In My Drink” (Ramones) is on loop in my brain…

So I read on some website or other that Froggy is now 20cm (8 inches) long and weighs 300grams (10.5 oz). I went down and searched around the kitchen till I found something about the right weight to show Will (a bottle of canola oil – last time it was my prenatals). Then he knelt down on the floor and put his head on my belly and told the baby how big it is and how much we love it, more than we love each other even, and I just started crying all over the place.

I don’t even think I can blame the hormones for this. (Well, of course I CAN, but I don’t think I need to.)

I am just disgusted by how happy this pregnancy has made me. Happier even than I’d hoped, and I had pretty high expectations.

• I often feel the need to set the record straight but seldom do. Sometimes I worry that this is because I like being able to sit and stew in anger about the fact that some people think I became pregnant by accident (or whatever I am annoyed about on any given day).

• I have ridiculously expensive taste. Part of me knows this is merely because I like things that are high-quality and will last, which is perfectly reasonable; however, part of me thinks I might be a greedy piggy. (Example: I spend half of our money on food because I want to eat organic. Less reasonable example: I want a Bugaboo stroller really bad and I don’t even like strollers.) On the other hand, I still think my diamond is a bit large and it’s less than half a carat.
• In keeping with this confessional vein (which I can only assume was brought on by the discussion of New Years Resolutions): I feel a deep sense of entitlement. People look down on me for this a lot. What no one seems to understand is that I think everyone should feel entitled to the things I demand. Respect, for instance. Fair treatment. You know. (I guess this was kind of setting the record straight. The problem is that the people who need the information are never the ones who will get it through this medium.)
• I have lost my equilibrium. I know this is to be expected, but DAMN! I was clumsy to begin with! Where did my center of gravity go?

And…I’m out of steam. I’m certain there will be more randomness later.

1. Today we distributed letters to every apartment in the building, outlining what happened to me two weeks ago and what has (or rather hasn’t) been done about it. No fingers were pointed. Safety precautions were recommended. We have already (within two hours!) had a visit from a neighbor who was very concerned, wanted to know more, and has said she will show the letter to the law firm she works for and complain to management as well. Not bad, eh? (But I still have not reported the building to the city because OHMYGOD is the building code ever long and boring.)

2. Froggy is showing signs of being just like Mommy (damn it). If I roll over in the night s/he wakes up and makes it abundantly clear that THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. This morning I received a fax (or elbow to the bladder) stating that while sleeping on one’s head may be well and good for us crazy grown-ups out here in the big bad world, BABY WON’T STAND FOR IT SO MOMMY HAD BEST STAY PUT WHEN BABY IS SLEEPING. I think I need to get one of those body pillow thingies.

3. 18 weeks, four days (this past Monday):

But also very, very easy.

I was given a total of $600 cash for Christmas. This is a lot of money. On the other hand, clothing is pricey and computers even moreso. Deciding where it should go was tough.

$100 was from my husband. He’d intended to buy me a gift certificate to a spa, so I’d have to spend it on pampering myself, but there wasn’t time (story of our lives lately). So he gave me the cash, which worked out nicely since I really wanted some goodies from Origins. I bought face moisturizers and eye make-up and lip gloss. (Origins is expensive – even with 10% off I still went $5 over.)

$500 was from my very generous in-laws (they gave Will the same and I am sure he will blog about what he bought with it). After I saw my chiropractor this morning we drove over to my favorite yarn store where I purchased the Denise needle kit (interchangeable tips and cables for circulars or anything else on earth you could possibly need). Then we went to the Grove, where we spent six hours parking and forty minutes in the mall. Next time we will remember to park on Beverly and walk. I bought two more camisole tops, a t-shirt with lace at the boobs, a warm fuzzy pullover, and three pairs of pants. With $175 leftover I decided to listen to my feet, which have been screaming for a pedicure, and set aside $25. The rest went into an Apple giftcard. If it’s Apple money I can’t spend it on anything else, you see. We now have almost $500 (including the card that arrived today from Kulia – thank you!) toward the new machine, which is nearly halfway. This is excellent.

It’s turning out to be a very Merry Christmas.

While Will watches After the Thin Man downstairs I am taking a quick break to reflect on Christmas. There was some bad – very bad – in the form of a family feud that I cannot/will not get into here. But there was also a lot of very good, which I think can be summed up best in list form.

• Greek food

• homemade pizza
• pork pibil
• chile verde (vegetarian)
• salsa & guacamole
• margaritas (I tasted one and it didn’t kill the baby so there)
• brass monkey bookends
• The Thin Man box set
• Apple store giftcards
• Libeled Lady
• a book of hot chocolate recipes (I cannot for the life of me remember which of my parents this was from)
• an illustrated Wizard of Oz
• cash for maternity clothes (or whatever I want) from the in-laws
• cash from the husband to spend frivolously on myself (I went to Origins)
• Batman Begins
• baby clothes
• knitting things
• cookbooks
• book-books
• tchotchkes*
• caaandy**
• love
• health
• baby
• friends

Tomorrow we are off to spend Will’s Christmas money on new boots and mine on new clothes and if there’s anything leftover it will go toward the compooper.

*It is worth mentioning Will’s sister’s gifts on their own: a serving bowl made out of an LP (Tony Bennett), a decorative cowboy plate, and this knife set (I laughed for an hour).
**Blogger wants to change this to Canada. WWBD (What Would the Bears Do)?

And now I must get back to my husband, who is in ill health after finding himself at the wrong end of a bottle of tequila.

I can’t seem to read my blog. The page won’t load. I can read other blogspot blogs, just not mine. And of course I don’t know if anyone else can see this, which is why I’m writing it; if you can access this page, please leave a comment – they are emailed to me, so I’ll know about them.

Every year we open one gift on Christmas Eve. This year I opened a box containing two brass monkey bookends. Like this one. It also contained some cash. Whatever. MONKEYS!

What with hustling and bustling we did not get to the tree lot this year. We meant to, even though there isn’t room for a tree. We wanted real pine for Christmas. But it didn’t happen.

Will agreed to humor me in my desperate desire for kitschy 50s-style aluminum trees, and so I went off to a party store yesterday intending to buy one each (3-footers) in pink, green, and silver. After a quick call to Will while in sticker shock and a decision to get the silver one in a larger size, I brought my pretties up to the counter. Where my bank card was denied. This had happened twice on Thursday, but at that point I assumed it simply wasn’t activated yet (I was told, frustratingly, that it might take up to 48 hours – but this was nearly 72 hours later). Also on Thursday I had Will and his debit card with me. I spent AN HOUR on the phone with Washington Mutual. I spoke to multiple people; the manager of the party store spoke to multiple people. The general consensus was that there was no reason for my card to be denied. Yeah, real fucking helpful. I explained over and over that NO, I did not have an alternate method of payment – I was MUGGED and anyway even if I had a credit card – WHICH I DON’T – this is my bank card and the only access I have to MY MONEY. I finally just called Will and he rushed over and paid for my trees. Then I went home, defeated, instead of buying a spare pair of goggles for Will’s stocking.

I never thought I’d say this so sincerely, but I am SO FUCKING GLAD my in-laws will be here in a few hours.

…is up at Creature Corner – Your Source for Horror. I think mouse will be happy with my treatment of her boyfriend.