Through The Looking Glass

My review is the lead story on Creature Corner!

*thud*

Perma-link: Creature Corner – Your Source for Horror

Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.

I am now attempting to write my review and cook. At the same time. In two different rooms on two different floors.

Help.

UPDATE: SUCCESS.

Yesterday afternoon I got a last-minute invitation to a screening of Lions Gate Films’ High Tension. I drank three gallons of water, downed a pot of coffee, and started popping pain killers. That headache was NASTY, but I beat it far enough into submission that I was able to make the drive to Santa Monica. Remarkably, traffic was kind to me. When I arrived, I learned that it was actually a webmasters-only (or, in my case, web reporter) screening, which is the coolest thing I have ever heard of any studio doing in the history of film promotion. They served cocktails, there was a cheese platter, and popcorn, and the movie was really excellent. AND, there was a GOODIE BAG at the end of the evening. I have the coolest keychain on earth, and a couple of other Lions Gate titles on DVD. And a t-shirt, but I could fit three of me in it, so I’m sending it to my Creature Corner boss. (I doubt he is three times my size.)

Now I have to write my review. I’d procrastinate more, but I have this weird work ethic problem.

My hosting package expires in two or three weeks. I totally thought I had till June. I want a new host but I don’t know which one. I want to move this blog to that host and set it up in Word Press or Movable Type (unless there is another system more highly recommended). I want someone to tell me how to make an external style sheet. I want to set up a gallery (possibly using Gallery).

Any volunteers? The main thing is to choose a new host. I have NO MONEY so it can’t be too pricey. I would prefer a host that will help me move the site over. The blog thing is secondary. I’m fine on Blogger for now but the longer I wait the more entries I’ll have to move over. I have already had this blog for three years.

Oh, I will also need someone to call me every other day and ask me if I have bothered inserting html into the stuff I need to put online. The answer will be no and I will disconnect the phone, but maybe you’ll get lucky and I’ll do the work anyway.

From an audience perspective, I can say that it takes a while to connect with a performer. I could theoretically make a statement from the performance side of it, but I have categorically erased all memories of my acting career.

When Wil Wheaton began reading “Ready or Not, Here I Come,” he was on stage and the rest of us were in the audience. I’ve read the story several times. It was the first thing I ever read at WilWheaton.net and I adore it. It reads better on the page than it did last night, but it isn’t like the performance was bad. Call it a warm-up.

As soon as Wil inadvertently announced “Inferno” as a love letter to his wife (he should have been introducing “We Close Our Eyes” that way), the gap narrowed. And by the time he was partway into “The Saga of SpongeBob Vega$Pants (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Star Trek)” we were no longer separate. We weren’t watching him perform. He was reading to us. It’s funny, because there was probably more performance in the Star Trek segment. But when he finished reading and walked offstage, there were tears on my face that I saw mirrored when he came out for a bow.

There is a restaurant connected to the ACME, and Will (not Wil) and I went to the bar and had a quick drink. I had a glass of red wine, which was a mistake. It was really dry, I was really thirsty, and I hadn’t eaten much. It went straight to my head.

We finished our drinks and got ready to leave. Wil was in the lobby, chatting with a group of people. I sent my Will outside and waited to introduce myself. Wil noticed me standing quietly off to the side (I am not into interruptions) and said, “Hi, I’m Wil.” DUH. I collected myself and told him my name, and that I wanted to thank him for the show. He seemed surprised and pleased that I’d watched and I told him I had a good time, and my husband did too, but he was outside because they have the same name which is confusing. Then I told him I was drunk (this is why I shouldn’t meet people when I’ve been drinking – I give WAY too much information), thanked him again, and left.

Wil Wheaton is a good writer, a good performer, and a very nice person. I have loved him since I was 12 years old and watched TNG even though I never gave a damn about Star Trek. He has a nice, firm handshake and I wish he was my friend.

People I admire tremendously and have met while drunk (that is, I was drunk):

• Andrew Bird (aka The Event We Shall Not Speak of)

• Wil Wheaton (totally not my fault)

*le sigh*

So I put in Return of the Jedi and pick up my knitting. I look up and the scroll is halfway gone. Oh no! I think. How will I know what’s happening?

Oh.

Boba Fett. What the hell was the big deal?

Also – Chewbacca? A woman.

And I can’t help but noticing that I SMELL AWFUL. I’ll be getting in the bath soon.

WHERE: The ACME Comedy Theatre, 135 N. La Brea, Hollywood.

WHEN: Tonight, April 27, 8:00.

WHY: Wil Wheaton reading his book, Dancing Barefoot for an audio recording.

MORE INFORMATION: WIL WHEATON dot NET: Where is my mind?: the show must go on

Everyone should go! Wil Wheaton is very cool, the book is very good, and, you know, I will be there.

And I yell because I love you.

Last night I spent an hour or two yelling at one of my dearest friends. He may or may not be speaking to me. I think he is, but I’m not sure why.

I am a fairly creative person with decent ideas, and an excellent writer (most of the drivel on this blog notwithstanding). I spent several years not doing anything about it. Now I am writing freelance for Creature-Corner.com, working on a screenplay with my husband, and developing several other projects, most of them also with my husband. I have an idea that we’re going to open a production company one of these days, even though it seems a bit premature to plan it.

Will is an incredibly creative person. I don’t know how he can think straight with all the juices (JEWS? SWURGIN!) flowing at such rapid rates through his brain, which is only average sized. Will is a good writer, though the rapidity of thought tends to make him get ahead of himself. He requires editing, but most people do. Luckily, I understand him and can help in that respect. Will reads other people’s creative attempts for a living, and is working on the above-mentioned projects with me. He has also created an expanded Deadlands universe that rivals most comic book universes – and I’m talking about the books that have been in publication for 40 years. I am just waiting for him to create a universe from scratch. That day, the universe we live in may collapse.

Then there is Darren, who was Best Man at our wedding. We met him because he was a bartender at a bar Will liked going to, and I liked being brought to. I was only 20, but that isn’t Darren’s fault. I didn’t tell him my age until he came to my 21st birthday party. I won’t mention the name of the bar, because they didn’t know either. Anyway, that part’s irrelevant, and I only mention it because it is interesting how you can meet people and not realize how important they will be in your life.

Darren’s brain works at about triple the speed of Will’s. It is a miracle, in my opinion, that he doesn’t require a straightjacket and heavy medication. This is not hyperbole. I do not understand how anyone can have that many ideas in their head and not go insane. He’s amazing. Brilliant. A good writer, an excellent artist. Also good in bed, but that’s hearsay.

It is now necessary for me to quote one of my favorite movies, Sullivan’s Travels:

John L. Sullivan: Aw, what do they know in Pittsburgh…
Hadrian: They know what they like.
John L. Sullivan: If they knew what they liked, they wouldn’t live in Pittsburgh.

Because, you see, there is the problem. Darren lives in Pittsburgh. I’ve lived there, and it’s a pretty nice town, but a guy like Darren is only going to get so far there. He has a couple of good reasons to be there. One is his daughter, but she’s 14 now and it seems to me that, since she’s an artist too (Darren says she can draw circles around him), it would actually be beneficial to her if he were out here. The other is his girlfriend, Bethany, who reads this blog. (Hi, Bethany!) I’ve spoken to her on the phone, but never met her. She seems really nice, but she also seems to want to stay in Pittsburgh. So Darren’s got this dilemma. And I sympathize and I don’t him to do anything dumb like break up with a girl he loves, and anyway I couldn’t make him even if I did want to, but he needs to get his ass to Los Angeles. And I’m not just being selfish here – I know he wants to be out here. And, OK, I want him here, and Will does too – we do great work together, us three, and it’s much easier to have a brainstorming session if you live less than 2432.6 miles apart.

So, to sum up. I want Darren in Los Angeles. Will wants Darren in Los Angeles. Darren wants Darren in Los Angeles. Darren is in Pittsburgh.

So I took the inadvisable tactic of yelling at him for wasting his creativity and talent and potential. But what else could I do? It seems to me that he’s trying to talk himself out of doing what he wants to do, of following his dreams, and I can’t just watch that happen and not say anything.

What would you have done?

In the meantime, I stole this from Mgan-Jenn, and totally broke the rules by not answering for her first.

Pick ONE word from each pair that you think describes me the best & leave it in the comments. (Copy/Paste and delete as necessary. Or choose a different method, but that strikes me as simplest.)

Then copy this and post it in your own blog to see how your friends view you. (Or don’t. See if I care.)

* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* teddy bear or porcelain doll
* hiking or window shopping
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* bare foot or shoes
* jeans or dress pants
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or jock