Through The Looking Glass

So, on a whim (as I was already on the search page) I did a Yahoo image search for my first name. I have yet to see a picture of myself (er, now, not ever), which is sad.

What is distressing, though, is that I keep nearly convincing myself that the pictures are of me. They have my name! Therefore, they must be me. I keep having to give myself little “talks.”

No, darling. Your hair is not blonde.

Sweetie, you aren’t Dutch.

Good grief! She’s a athlete, for crying out loud. (Incidentally, a lot of the Bizzaro-Me Clones were athletes.)

You’re twenty-five, honey-pie. That Annika is closer to mommy’s age. Yes, she’s pretty. Yes, of course you’re prettier. You’re the prettiest.

Let’s not be silly.

Oh, get a grip.

You know, I’m on page 32 now. Aren’t there any pictures of me-me?

I got myself so worked up about a Speed-style explosion that I am almost disappointed that it didn’t happen.

What is worse, of course, is waiting another year to see season 3, which I am fairly certain is airing now. It is almost enough to make me want to sign up for cable and cancel it as soon as The Shield is over for the season. But I know me, and I don’t know if I’d be able to give it up once I have it. And we do not need cable.

In other news, I am eating a pop tart. This is very unlike me. But damn, it is good. Almost as good as Rancid.

I just got off the phone with a gentleman (whose age I’d approximate at 18) conducting a survey about cigarettes. He asked me what brand I smoked and I told him Phillip Morris. When he repeated it several times and there was a long pause, I realized my mistake and said Marlboro. We laughed and laughed. I must admit that I am surprised that the computer system didn’t include company names, only brand names. If it had been a drivers survey, and I’d said I drove a Mazda, there wouldn’t have been a problem. I wouldn’t have had to say “Protege.” Right?

I also did my good deed for the day in telling him that the male smoker in the household would not be interested in participating in a survey. I am expecting thank you kisses and maybe a neck rub.

Annika says:
Well, the ibuprofin is taking the edge off. But what I really need is some good sex. Um, I mean, what I really need is to be properly hydrated.
Beth says:
Good sex, eh?
Beth says:
I’ve been told I’m a tall drink of water, so I might have a solution for you.

Will and I are finally watching season 2 of The Shield. Not having cable means that in order to watch each season, we have to wait until just before the next one begins airing, and buy the DVD. This is not a problem, because so far both seasons have become available on DVD right around Will’s birthday, and also because we love this show like crack, and have to have it. Seeing it for the first time in this format has serious advantages, like not having to wait for the next episode. It also has its downside, in that once you start watching, it is very difficult to stop, and you go to bed late and wake up with a killer fucking headache.

Sometime after midnight last night we finished watching episode 2.5 (for which I would provide the title if I weren’t mostly braindead right now). I won’t tag this, because I think we’re the only fans of the show who haven’t seen further than this already, but I’ll be vague just in case.

The last scene is of Vic, Shane and Lem going into a house that turns out to be empty. Their extremely dangerous enemy knew they were coming, and tells them (over the phone), once they are in the house, that he’s greenlit them. The episode ends with Vic apprehensively, or nervously, or something (man, he is hard to read!) looking around the empty room that they are in. A boombox is playing. The end.

If you’ve seen Speed, you know what happens to Keanu’s partner when he raids an empty house where he thought the extremely dangerous enemy was holed up. KA-BLAM! Bye-bye, Jeff Daniels. Now I know that 1) The Shield can’t kill its main characters and 2) they are more original than that anyway, but DAMN IT, I am nervous as HELL, and can’t watch the next episode until Will gets home in seven hours.

The suspense is killing me.

Note: Anyone who posts spoilers for any episodes after 2.5 in the comments WILL BE GREENLIT.

p.s. Love you guys. Especially Matt, whose comments don’t show up in IE because I never changed the ReBlogger code when Heath told me to. For your kind words, I will refrain from sending HOT CHICKEN SOUP for you to soak your nads in.

Edited for humor and vagueness.

I feel sick. Physically ill.

I went downstairs to check the mail. Outside the front door I heard raised voices. I looked, and it was a man, yelling at his child. (I think it was a boy.) He was generally berating him, for I don’t know what, and called him stupid at least once. He yelled and yelledas he unloaded some luggage from his van (I believe it was an electric company van, but not a major one – probably a small repair company, and therefore his van). He said “fuck” a lot. I stood there, uncertain of whether to interfere. I wanted to tell him that if he tells a child he is stupid, he will believe it. I knew that if I said that, the man would tell me that his son WAS stupid.

I went upstairs and looked out the window that overlooks the front door. He was still yelling. Another man walked by, not blinking. Maybe he was hurting inside like me. I hope so, because if not then he was dead inside.

The man continued to yell at the boy and I walked to my apartment, trying not to cry. I don’t know if I was – am – upset for the boy or for myself. If he had struck the child I wouldn’t have hesitated to speak my mind. I would have had no hesitation in threatening him with the police, child protective service…anything. But what he was doing is WORSE, barring true (physical) child abuse. And I did NOTHING. I was afraid of him. Maybe because he was another race, but probably because he was so MEAN. And yet, I know that the child is worse off than me. I was able to just walk away to my home. I may never see that man again.

PLEASE don’t tell me that it was all right not to speak to him. Barring physical danger, which I doubt I would have been in, it was NOT OKAY. I should have done something, even if it was just writing down his license plate, or making sure that he saw me watching him.

The other day will had lunch with some Agent. I am capitalizing that because I forget his name, and wouldn’t print it if I remembered. They were talking about horror movies (I think/presume) and Agent asked Will if he’d been to ComicCon. Will said no, he’d never really been interested in being surrounded by People Like Him, but that we’d probably go this year because I wanted to. Agent was terribly impressed, and later suggested that the three of us go out for drinks sometime.

HA! I fooled him without even being there! People tend to assume that I am a geek, because I can hold up my end of a geeky conversation, but really? I just like being around geeks. I’ve read, like, four comic books ever (I don’t mean individual comics – some of them were series of which I read more than one book). I pretty much only watch obscure movies that Will wants to watch, and sometimes (usually) I let him watch them without me. Until my recent history obsession (or re-obsession, I should say), I only read fiction and none of it was the science variety. I can’t do anything with a computer. No, really! Not ANYTHING. It’s a miracle I can type.

I am such a fake. It’s brilliant.

Stolen (including preamble) from the P@, who stole it from someone else. Ahhh, the internet.

The list is from IMDB, and while I’m sure most of us have an opinion on the rankings (or the order of them), the point of this entry is to bold out the movies that you’ve seen. HTML ahoy!!

1 Godfather, The (1972)
2 Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)
3 Godfather: Part II, The (1974)
4 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003)
5 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
6 Casablanca (1942)
7 Schindler�s List (1993)
8 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)
9 Shichinin no samurai (1954)
10 Star Wars (1977)
11 Citizen Kane (1941)
12 One Flew Over the Cuckoo�s Nest (1975)
13 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
14 Rear Window (1954)
15 Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
16 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
17 Memento (2000)
18 Usual Suspects, The (1995)
19 Pulp Fiction (1994)
20 North by Northwest (1959)
21 12 Angry Men (1957)
22 Amelie (2001)
23 Psycho (1960)
24 Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
25 Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (1966)
26 Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
27 It�s a Wonderful Life (1946)
28 Goodfellas (1990)
29 American Beauty (1999)
30 Vertigo (1958)
31 Sunset Blvd. (1950)
32 Matrix, The (1999)
33 Pianist, The (2002)
34 Apocalypse Now (1979)
35 To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
36 Some Like It Hot (1959)
37 Taxi Driver (1976)
38 C�era una volta il West (1968)
39 Third Man, The (1949)
40 Paths of Glory (1957)
41 Fight Club (1999)
42 Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001) (Spirited Away)
43 Boot, Das (1981)
44 L.A. Confidential
45 Double Indemnity (1944)
46 Chinatown (1974)
47 Singin� in the Rain (1952)
48 Maltese Falcon, The (1941)
49 Requiem for a Dream (2000)
50 M (1931)
51 Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)
52 All About Eve (1950)
53 Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
54 Se7en (1995)
55 Saving Private Ryan (1998)
56 Raging Bull (1980)
57 Cidade de Deus (2002)
58 Wizard of Oz, The (1939)
59 Rash�mon (1950)
60 Sting, The (1973)
61 Alien (1979)
62 American History X (1998)
63 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
64 L�on (1994)
65 Vita � bella, La (1997)
66 Touch of Evil (1958)
67 Manchurian Candidate, The (1962)
68 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
69 Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948)
70 Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
71 Great Escape, The (1963)
72 Reservoir Dogs (1992)
73 Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
74 Amadeus (1984)
75 Modern Times (1936)
76 Annie Hall (1977)
77 Jaws (1975)
78 Ran (1985)
79 On the Waterfront (1954)
80 Braveheart (1995)*
81 High Noon (1952)
82 Apartment, The (1960)
83 Fargo (1996)
84 Sixth Sense, The (1999)
85 Aliens (1986)
86 Shining, The (1980)
87 Strangers on a Train (1951)
88 Blade Runner (1982)
89 Metropolis (1927)
90 Duck Soup (1933)**
91 Finding Nemo (2003)
92 Donnie Darko (2001)
93 General, The (1927)
94 Toy Story 2 (1999)
95 Princess Bride, The (1987)
96 City Lights (1931)
97 Great Dictator, The (1940)
98 Lola rennt (1998)
99 Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
100 Notorious (1946)

*I am counting this even though I have only seen about 45 minutes of it. I fell asleep BOTH times I tried to watch it, because it was so. Fucking. Boring. I doubt I will ever try again.
**I can’t honestly remember if I’ve seen this one, but I’ve seen about three Marx Brothers movies, and if you’ve seen three, you’ve seen them all.

I think that I ought to be allowed to count the movies I’ve got sitting by the television but haven’t actually watched yet. However, because I am honest to a fault, I did not do so.

And finally, there is a chance that I have seen a few that I didn’t mark. I blame my inability to read any language other than English, as well as my crappy memory.

This is so neat! (Thanks to Cassy, whose Blurty I found it on.)

create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide

Some of these states I’ve lived in, others I’ve merely driven through. Most are something in-between.

Blogger is giving me super-annoying error messages left and right.