Through The Looking Glass

Hi, my name is [deleted] and I’m a big fat moron. I’ve decided to make myself the Martyr of the Day. I’m going to paint a picture in which there is no possible way to perceive me as anything but the wronged party, and ask for opinions from people who weren’t involved. I wonder who they’ll side with?

What an idiot.

I spent five hours cooking today. I made the World’s Best Thanksgiving dinner. I am now sitting in my chair, fat and bloated, awaiting Sainthood.

Oh, also: we watched the animated Lord of the Rings. If Ralph Bakshi were still alive, I’d have a thing or two to tell him about making a decent movie. Maybe I shall, in a later entry. Right now, I am trying to will myself to have enough room for one more slice of pie.

This morning on the way to work (or it might have been yesterday morning – they all lump together in my mind) I saw a van for a company with the most offensive name I have ever seen: SIDS Air Conditioning. SIDS! What were they thinking?

This afternoon on the way home I saw a van with the best company name/logo EVER: TNT Electric. “Let us look into your shorts.”

So now I’m home, and Will is braving day-before-Thanksgiving shoppers to pick up wine and butter (and anything else he wants) while I lazily troll the internet. He’s the best. I’m so incredibly happy, because I get five whole days with him and neither of us has to go anywhere. I mean, we have a lunch date on Friday, and we might go down to Huntington Beach on Saturday to see Cassie, and I think we have plans on Sunday, but we’ll be together the whole time.

*sigh*

Presents!

Will came home from work today with six books. Hobbit books. Yippee!

Somebody loves me!

Oxygen-activated heat pads that adhere to my panties! No more mind-numbing menstrual cramps! [/TMI]

*sigh* I’m in heaven. Life is wonderful.

So we started our Christmas shopping today. We bought…cards. And one book. Oh! And a CD of an old radio version of A Christmas Carol with Orson Wells. That was for us. We also looked around World Market and I showed Will everything I want.

Then I took Will to The Buzz Stop and London (that is so not his real name) chemically straightened his hair. Straightened it! Poor Will. All of his friends are going to call him a girl now. It looks lovely, though. It’s still kind of wavy, but my goodness! What a difference. I can run my fingers through it without getting stuck.

When we got home, we went to Amazon to look for all the stuff we couldn’t find at the bookstore. Of course, they had it all. I love Amazon.

Then Will and Elliot had a bitchfight on MSN. I saved the transcript, and will forward it to the person with the best bribe. It’s hilarious!

In other news, I am still desperately in love with Sean Bean. I have come to terms with our love never leaving my living room, as I have no intention of ever getting involved with a man who’s been divorced more than twice. (Bruce Campbell, that makes you eligible!) Damn it to hell. Oh well – 25 days until The Two Towers, which, while notably devoid of Boromir, ought to have some nice gay hobbits.

Elliot says:
Anyway, I gotta be off. Babies to drown and all that.
bettie says:
Yay! Drown a few for me, will you?
Elliot says:
Sure. I’ll even shout out your name as I do!
Elliot says:
See you later!
bettie says:
That’s fabulously gross!
Annika says:
Bye!

Sasami says:
Spielberg cut you off in traffic?
bettie says:
No. I sped up and wouldn’t let him into my lane.
bettie says:
That’ll teach him to fuck with E.T.
Sasami says:
Way to go!

Man, my head hurts.

I’m just glad some people can distinguish between bettie-me and mod-me.

Though really, both of us can put the hurt on you. It just happens in different ways. So watch your backs. Benevolent, my ASS.

Which Dita Von Teese Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla