What it’s like

I’ve been a little quiet lately. Allow me to illustrate why.

Grace spent all day demanding my attention pretty much nonstop. She can get very anxious and clingy. I am exhausted.

Tonight, after kicking me out, sobbing that she needed alone time, she called me back into the smallest room in the house to ask me if you play bongos with sticks. When I said no, you play with your hands, she burst into tears. “But I want to play bongos with sticks!” I told her that she can do whatever she likes, and she brightened up and told me she’d borrow the sticks from her glockenspiel. My protests that we don’t own bongos fell on deaf ears.

And that pretty much sums up every day of my life.



That was a very difficult three hours.

Dot was on the bedroom windowsill, where Grace has never before put a toy. It was a total fluke that I found him at all–she was helping me put some craft supplies away and I gave her a little butterfly bracelet that was in with my beads. She decided she didn’t want to wear it, and I went to put it away. I saw one of her necklaces laid out on the windowsill, and when I moved the curtain to pick it up I spotted Dot.

In the interim, I discovered (with a lot of googling) that Dot is a Beanie Baby named Hydrant. I am filing this information away in case anything ever happens to Dot, so we can get his “sister” for Grace. (I would never try to pull a switcheroo on her. She is too smart.)


Grace’s favorite toy is missing. She doesn’t know yet.

We realized after the children were in bed that we hadn’t seen Dot, Gracie’s stuffed puppy and constant companion, since we got home from hiking this afternoon. She and Sam (and Dot) took the stairs while Will and I took the elevator. Grace was carrying Dot and her jacket.

We don’t remember seeing Dot at any time after that, so we assume she dropped him and didn’t notice because she still had her jacket.

We checked the stairs, all the landings, the car, all around the car, our entire apartment, and even the dumpsters. No Dot.

I made signs and put them on every landing, describing Dot and asking for his return. Surely he was picked up by a neighbor’s child. But what if they don’t see the signs? Or don’t care?

I can’t remember ever feeling this devastated over anything. My stomach is in a knot thinking about how Grace will feel tomorrow. I’ve cried twice and I’m pretty sure a third time is imminent.

Gracie and the Wizard in Oz

*title is a take-off of the title of the sixth (I think) Oz book.

So today we did this:


Grace was mesmerized. When Dorothy is a prisoner and the Wicked Witch turns over the hourglass, I peeked at Grace’s face to see if she was all right. She huffily turned and said, “I’m not afraid of anything!” so I guess that’s that. (She is so fierce. I love her so much.)

A few minutes later I happened on a link to this Wizard of Oz theme park, which has been closed for nearly my entire lifetime but opens to visitors once a year, and this weekend is it.

Then I remembered that once upon a time I wrote some stuff for Blogging.LA about strange Oz-related rumors.

Real-life Munchkinland

Oz sets used to build the 10

The best part of all of this (other than Grace) is the small worldliness of it all. I met my friend Burns through blogging.la, he introduced me to roller derby, and another ref posted the link that got me looking at blogging.la again.

Conversation I just had with Grace

(Context: I was scrolling through Tumblr and she came and sat on my lap. Liz Miller posted a photo of the helicopter outside YouTube space.)

G: Can mine go in that red helicopter?

A: I wish we could. It is a very nice helicopter. I have never ridden in a helicopter, have you?

G: Yes!

A: Really? When?!

G: Soon!