Fixed that for you.

I accidentally clicked on a terrible “article” this morning. Between the text and the stock photographs I just had to improve it.

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1. He is more interested in something up on the ceiling than in your advances. WHAT IS ON THE CEILING?

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2. She’s yelling at you with a megaphone. PUT THE MEGAPHONE DOWN, LADY.

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3. He is better at video games than you. Or even worse, he THINKS he is better at video games than you. LET HER HAVE THE CONTROLLER ONCE IN A WHILE, YOU CAD.

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4. She pretends not to know you in public. DANGER!

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5. She steals your sandwich. HE IS HUNGRY TOO, LADY.

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6. You are both just too goth to live.

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7. She leans on you when you’re trying to make a shot. WHAT THE HELL LADY HE IS TRYING TO MAKE A SHOT.

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8. You are literally screaming in each other’s faces. Also maybe you are both Italian? I mean, look at that gesturing. Actually, you two should probably just go to bed together.