NO WHINNING
I wrote this little poem on Twitter last night, and I like it so much that I am copying it over here for posterity.
The children asked me
To play Hide and Seek.
So I hid.
But they forgot to look for me.
It was the most peaceful
Five minutes of my day.
I could maybe get into poetry if it’s limited to 140 characters.
Delay is natural to a writer. He is like a surfer—he bides his time, waits for the perfect wave on which to ride in. Delay is instinctive with him. He waits for the surge (of emotion? of strength? of courage?) that will carry him along. I have no warm-up exercises, other than to take an occasional drink. I am apt to let something simmer for a while in my mind before trying to put it into words. I walk around, straightening pictures on the wall, rugs on the floor—as though not until everything in the world was lined up and perfectly true could anybody reasonably expect me to set a word down on paper.
~E.B White, Paris Review
Funny story: when Will moved to Los Angeles, he got a job as the second assistant to the producers at a movie star’s production company. He worked there for 6 years. The reason he got the job? His mother’s boss’s college roommate’s ex-husband’s neighbor was in charge of hiring. (Actually, that’s why he got the interview. He got the job because he is awesome.)
While he worked there, he worked with some writers. A lot of writers, actually, but two in particular who are relevant to this story. He worked with this writing team for the better part of a year, until the studio finally passed on their script, much to everyone’s annoyance and disappointment. We liked the writers a lot, and had them over for a barbecue and I think at least one other time. One of them, Mike, moved to Las Vegas. We’re friends on Facebook.
Mike sent me an email out of the blue in January. He’s the assistant editor at a local magazine now, and was looking for a writer for an article on blogging. Was I interested?
(Yes.)
And thus concludes my tale of how, despite “who you know” being the most important thing ever, there is NO WAY ON EARTH to control it because you just never know who will be important.
The impressive part is that I put in the first chapter of my unfinished middle grade novel.
Via Will.
I wrote 1,012 words on Friday. Actually, I’d already written something like 78 of them, back in June when I had the story idea. Friday morning, though, I sat down and typed until the story (admittedly a short one) was finished. I like it. It is direct, the voice is about what I wanted, and I think it is kind of funny. Maybe I shouldn’t say funny. It is sort of horrible, actually. But aside from needing a little work (what story doesn’t?) it came out about how I wanted it to and Will liked it so I am happy.
The rest of Friday was AWFUL and I blame my story. I had post-writing crash, and I happened to be in Target when it happened so it was really wretched. I don’t know if I want to keep up this writing business if it’s going to ruin my days like that!
But writing hangover aside, it feels pretty good. At least, I am glad to have written.
Now I just have to show it to someone other than my husband. Eek!
I’ve been friends with Mindi for about… um… seven years? She stayed here six years ago next month, so longer than that. Last month, her debut novel was published. Freefall
In general, what do you write?
Contemporary Young Adult Fiction
What are you working on now?
A dark YA novel about a girl who can’t tell the truth out of fear of what it will cost her.
How long have you been writing?
I’ve been writing with publication in mind for over six years. I’ve been writing just to write since I was a teen.
Have you written other genres/mediums/etc.?
I wrote a LITTLE MERMAID fanfic when I was thirteen. I’ve kept lots of journals both paper and online. Also, my second novel attempt was a fantasy novel with a portal to another world (of course!).
Where do you write?
I occasionally write rough drafts in journals while riding the bus. The rest of the magic takes place at my desk on my computer.
Who is your first reader?
My husband. He reads every scene as I finish it. At times when I’m feeling especially needy, he’ll read scenes still in progress.
Where can we see something you’ve written?
I have a novel out! It’s called FREEFALL and was published by Simon & Schuster this fall. You can read an excerpt on Amazon.com
And to borrow from James Lipton (please imagine that I have a full beard and am strangely affable), please answer these in one word:
What is your favorite word?
Lover
What is your least favorite word?
Cream (when used as a verb)
What turns you on?
Catalano
What turns you off?
Leto
What sound do you love?
Waves
What sound do you hate?
Loogies
What is your favorite curse word?
Mutha-vucka (Okay, not really. But close.)
Other than writing, what profession would you like to attempt?
Editor
What profession would you not like to do?
Carpenter
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
“OMG!”
I should tell you guys, she is JUST AS ADORABLE as she seems.
This will be a series for the rest of November, or as long as I can find writers who want to talk to me. If you’d like to participate, hit me up.
First up is my husband. Hi, husband!
In general, what do you write?
words. That is so dickish, I know. Screenplays, novels. Role playing game scenarios. My blog, though now that October has passed that has kind of run out steam–I’m a terrible blogger without a concrete goal.
What are you working on now?
I’m sort of revising a YA novel. It’s contemporary fantasy–someone asked me if it was Urban Fantasy and I had to say that it was mostly Rural with a little Urban towards the end…
How long have you been writing?
My earliest memories don’t involve writing, but my mother still has stories and plays I wrote when I was six or seven.
Have you written other genres/mediums/etc.?
We were talking about genres? I, uh, I don’t know what genre I write in, honestly. I think all of my stuff is pretty funny, but it isn’t a broad humor (Except when it is). Also bloody. I write a lot of death, sometimes played for laughs, sometimes heroic sacrifice, sometimes tragedy… I write darkly comic horror action? Except when there is no action or horror….
Where do you write?
Mostly on the loading dock at work. I’ve written three and a half novels there–can you believe that shit? I think two, maybe three screenplays. A lot of bloggy shit. I used to write at the bar at home in the wee hours, but my computer is very old and my wife’s sister lives in front of my TV now, and I don’t get any sleep because of the children and the blood and the guy screaming down on the corner about his tumors–so I really only write at work now.
Who is your first reader?
My wife (Ed.: That’s me). She is also, on most of my screenplays, my writing partner–which makes them Our Screenplays. We’ve discussed collaborating in other endeavors too, but we have a hard time endeavoring. It’s her fault, really, that I’m trying to be a novelist. Because she needed a break from all the creative screaming and the whiskey madness and couldn’t devote time to any of the projects I wanted to work on, so she suggested I go off and be a good quiet boy and write a novel by my ownself. So I did, and I loved it, and it stuck.
Where can we see something you’ve written?
Well, at my blog–but that is all very unpolished, I use it as a Journal (a live journal?) really. I don’t bother doing much more than a perfunctory spell-check–sometimes not even that. My polished stuff, you have to ask to see that, but I’m such a slut at heart–I’ll show my goods to anyone who asks.
And to borrow from James Lipton (please imagine that I have a full beard and am strangely affable), please answer these in one word:
What is your favorite word?
Go
What is your least favorite word?
No
What turns you on?
Thoughts
What turns you off?
Stress
What sound do you love?
Bottle cap
What sound do you hate?
Shredder
What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck
Other than writing, what profession would you like to attempt?
Park Ranger
What profession would you not like to do?
Office job
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
There is beer in the fridge. Wait, why God? Whatever happened to St. Peter? I mean, if we’re doing Pearly Gates.
If a pearl necklace is when the guy ejaculates on the area between neck and breasts, is pearly gates when the ejaculate is on the inner thighs, outer folds of the vagina?
Er… I do not know the answer to that. Anyone?
Here’s the trick: I need to find time for both reading and writing. I am not currently getting either done.
Will has finished some revisions on his novel. I’ve been trying to read them for TWO WEEKS and am only about 50 pages in. I could (in theory) get through it quickly if I were just reading, but I’m taking notes as I go because I don’t see any point in being his first reader if I am not helpful. Because a manuscript is such a large thing, I can’t read in any of my usual spots (tub, toilet, comfy chair), so I have to reserve quiet time in the bedroom. This is why it’s taking two weeks–it has actually been two weeks since I last looked at it. Horrible.
I also have a stack of books I want to read, including Freefall. I am SO FAR BEHIND in my reading! I keep sneaking newer books to the front of the line, which is oddly not doing anything to make the pile smaller. (Hint: if you want me to read your book, your chances improve if 1. I know you, and 2. You put my name in it. I am cheap, but also easy.)
And then there is writing, my constant bugbear, my bête noire. (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?) Lately I have had so many ideas. SO MANY. But when do I work on them? Never, that’s when. I do have down time–I’d be a pretty crappy liar if I tried to tell you otherwise–but it is never distraction-free and I am lousy at focusing.
I did decide something recently that has opened up a WHOLE NEW WORLD for me: if I want to write young adult and middle grade stories, but I don’t feel that I have novels in me, then by gum (BY GUM!) I am going to write young adult and middle grade short stories. As far as I can tell, there is no market whatsoever for them, but I don’t give a damn. I am going to write them anyway. If I can ever find the goddamn time.
In other news, I think I need a writer’s group but I kind of hate most other writers. Crap.
I keep harping on this writing thing, moaning and fretting about how much of it I am not doing. This morning, though, Will and I rode the Vespa to the Silver Spoon Diner in West Hollywood and chatted for about an hour about an idea we’ve been working on for a few days.
And I feel like a writer again.
(Yes, I missed posting yesterday. Oh well.)
Hey! Do you write?
Give yourself permission. This is some lovely advice from editor Molly O’Neill, written as part of a virtual writing conference.
Complete your draft! This contest looks like fun. The only novel I am even considering writing is currently 7k words with a goal of 21k, so I won’t be entering. But YOU should.
Want to write like a bestselling novelist? My husband figured out the formula. You can be as “good” as Dan Brown or Stephenie Meyer! And then you can shoot yourself!
