It’s 1991

B5HTY-PIQAAnE5g

Holy shit, you guys. I know Docs are hard to break in, but it’s been 20+ years and I guess I just couldn’t remember HOW hard they are to break in. This is the stiffest leather ever.

(THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.)

I’m going to have to get the left shoe stretched by a cobbler because the toe box is tight. The length is good and the right shoe fits just right, but the left shoe is painful after a little while. (I talked this through with the salesman. He assured me stretching is the way to go.)

BRB, I need some babydoll dresses and flannels.

Interpret This.

I dreamed the Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer did an event at my library and I was the only person who showed up. (Actually, there were a few other people there at the beginning, but they all left. I had somewhere to be but felt bad so I didn’t leave.) I spent a great deal of time apologizing for not being a bigger fan, and then called Nova so she could participate long-distance.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!

Bizzy Bizzy

Thanksgiving was wonderful. Because we did not host (which felt really weird!) and skipped the bird, I had almost no prep to do. I made the pies on Wednesday and didn’t start cooking until afternoon on Thursday. WEIRD.

I worked at the yarn shop on both Black Friday and Small Business Saturday.

Sunday, Will and I started moving furniture so we can clean the apartment. It’s gotten pretty disgusting in the last year or so, when there have been too many people in such a small space for us to reasonably be expected to do much upkeep.

My work stuff (knitting and sewing supplies, computer, unfiled filing) has kind of taken over the living room, so we are bringing the television back down from the loft and putting all my junk up there instead. So far we’ve moved the DVD shelves moved downstairs, which may not sound like a lot of work but I assure you it was. Sam was very helpful and when he woke up this morning he told me, “Computer upstairs, TV down,” and then waited expectantly for us to get moving on that. Sorry, kid. Mama can’t lift the television.

We haven’t had the television downstairs since Sam was an infant, so this is going to take some getting used to. Also we are getting rid of the sofa so we’ll need to buy some new chairs, but I think we ran out of money buying Christmas presents for the children. (Sam is getting a Razor scooter and Grace is getting a rocking horf. Also there is a lot of Playmobil happening.)

I Survived Black Friday

We went shopping today. I KNOW, WE ARE CRAZY. But wait. We went to ONE store that was having a Black Friday sale, and it was a tiny boutique bra shop. Owned and operated by Jenette Goldstein. YES, I MEAN VASQUEZ. She has now seen my boobs. And sold me a black nursing bra. (It might be silly to buy a nursing bra before my milk comes in and giganticizes my boobs, but no sillier than it would be to buy a non-nursing bra six weeks before changing my name to Bessie.) We also went to the hardware store, the button store, the yarn store, and the army surplus store. We are mad adventurous.

We considered stopping at Frys (or Best Buy) because we need blank CDs and a card reader and why not buy them on sale, but the parking lots were crazy so we were like FUCK NO. We can buy them tomorrow or Sunday or even next week.

We broke up all the boring shopping with a stop in Griffith Park where we rode the carousel, the ponies, and the train. Well. Only Sam rode a pony. Will and I would probably break them.

Thus concludes this incredibly boring update. What did you do today?

Is there anything better than a weekend?

One: I slept in this morning. Until about 8:20, which has me of four years ago cringing in horror but is seriously the latest I’ve slept in weeks or maybe months.

Two: Will and I played with Legos this morning. Sam has us well-trained, so we build vehicles and he plays with them. It is a very good system.

Three: Will and Sam did most of the grocery shopping this morning, which takes care of an errand I thought I’d be doing, gave me a little free time, and enabled us to…

Four: make pizza. I made crust while the guys were out and when they returned I made sauce and assembled three pies. One half veggie, half pepperoni, one all veggie, one anchovies and sausage. The veggie ones had caramelized onions, fresh basil, and kalamata olives.

Five: I took a hot bath with no interruptions. At least an hour, probably closer to two.

Six: I read a whole book. Emma-Jean Lazarus Fell Out of a Tree, which I highly recommend. (While fetching that link I discovered that there is a sequel! I am very pleased.)

Seven: I got some great assistance on my MG story (you know, the one I am not writing) and Will and I talked out some troubles with a script we are trying to fix up. Very good work day.

My glamorous life

My Mother-in-Law sent me three maternity shirts and an Old Navy gift card for my birthday. (Holy crap, could she be any more generous? I am not even her kid.) One of the shirts was white, which HAHAHAHA NO, so today I took it to Target to exchange it. Instead of getting a different color, I opted to get myself some underpants. I am not actually sure how long it’s been since I’ve bought new underwear, but I’m pretty sure I did not have any children. I do not know what it is like to wear drawers with functioning elastic. Seriously.

So there I was, standing in front of the rack of Hanes Hipsters*, and I realized I do not know my size. I know I used to be a 5, but there is a lot more of me now than there was then. I picked up a 7 and was looking at it and kind of walked into another woman. I apologized and explained that I did not know what size I am. She looked at me and said, “Honey, if I wear a 7 there is no way you do.” She was taller and a bit bigger than me so I agreed and grabbed a 6. I know you all are keeping track of my sizes, which is why I include these details.

And then I went and looked at Legos. The end.

* God I hope this doesn’t make me a hipster. I know the definition of irony, so probably not. Also, I bought regular underwear instead of maternity underwear because I had some maternity underwear when I was pregnant with Sam** and I always felt like it was going to fall down, which is worse than even my non-elastic falling-apart underpants.

** So I guess the last time I bought unders was when I was pregnant with Sam, then.

Is it 6:00 yet?

So far today I have:

  • Helped Sam get out all of his puzzles
  • Fed Sam breakfast
  • Fed myself some toast (which is not quite breakfast but will do)
  • Helped Sam put away all of his puzzles
  • Helped Sam set up his train track and trains
  • Baked a cherry pie
  • Taken a shower while Sam watched Tweety cartoons
  • Eaten the extra pie crust, which I baked with cinnamon
  • Counted that as breakfast
  • Gotten dressed

I can’t understand how it is only 9:30. That’s more than I usually do in a whole day. (See previous post, re: I am lazy.)

I guess today can’t be over yet, though, because I have to do laundry. Damn it.

Hello, MONDAY.

I’ve got to have a word with someone about the frequency of Mondays. I do not approve.

And it seems especially unfair that it looks like Shark Week is starting today.

On Saturday I had to get out of the house so I went shopping for crafty supplies. I highly recommend this as a method of cheering yourself up, especially if you have an Andrea to go with. We had lunch at Hugo’s and I ordered a salad that was easily enough for three meals, all delightful raw stuff plus some grilled tofu.

Yesterday Will declared Superhero Sunday and my fellas watched The Specials, Ultimate Avengers, Spiderman and Spiderman 2, and I forget what else.

And now it is Monday and I forgot to start the oven so I had my breakfast an hour late and by the time I’d finally digested enough to go for my walk/run I didn’t waaaaaaant to. But I did. And now I am ready to go back to bed.

I was going to start working on Sam’s Jedi robes but something tells me that’s a bad idea.

Things we saw on our walk

Sam and I are under the weather, but diapers had to be washed so we forced ourselves to get dressed and leave the apartment. As long as we were so close to outside, we also went for a walk around the neighborhood. I let Sam lead the way, and he mostly wanted to walk on the sunny side of the street. Of course, I was wearing a wool sweater and it is 75ยบ today.

As we were leaving the building I saw a car pulling out of a parking spot. A woman was driving, and another sitting in the back seat with a small child (one or two years old) on her lap. I did not have my camera with me. I do not have a cell phone. They were gone too fast for me to try to intervene. I didn’t even have time to register what sort of car they were driving. So I did the only thing I could possibly do: I asked god, or the universe, or whomever might be listening, to keep the little girl safe.

It was hard to focus on much else during our walk, but I did get a good laugh at myself while we were waiting to cross a street. On the telephone poll at the corner was a hand-written sign, in Spanish, for an apartment for rent. I don’t speak Spanish, but I know several words and can usually figure out something as simple as this sign. I was utterly appalled to see that it advertised as features of the apartment “closets y bano” – closets and bathroom – until I noticed the word “grande” following and remembered that in Spanish the adjective comes last. So the apartment has large closets and bathroom. DUR.

We were almost home when we passed an abandoned television on the tree lawn. Sam knelt down and touched it, almost reverently, and I wished again for my camera.

Tease

I got my hair cut! I opted to just get the cut, no color, because I am way too indecisive. (Plus, this way I have a balance on the gift card for later.) I have not taken any pictures yet, but when I do I will also be able to show you my new glasses! Sadly they do not yet have lenses in them (well, not prescription lenses–they have clear plastic), but that is OK because they are $240 frames and I paid THIRTY BUCKS for them. If you are in Los Angeles, you can get obscenely cheap designer frames for one more day at the annual LA Eyeworks sale. I was expecting a frenzy but it was totally civilized and awesome. Laurie and I went in and checked our bags. There were tables set up with rows and rows of frames, and people moved slowly around the store trying them on. Going with a friend was the best! We each had someone to tell us how we looked in each pair and a second pair of eyes searching for contenders. Plus, someone to laugh with at the bad choices. (This just in: I looked silly in at least nine out of ten pairs.)

Tomorrow I will maybe do something with these eyebrows (doubtful, but I can dream) and take a picture of my new ‘do.