In Which I Send You Elsewhere

Oh man. I am so behind. I have a backlog of links I meant to post on the sidebar, and now I am going to dump them all right here in one post. I really hope that won’t keep you from checking them all out, because they are worth it. Trust me.

My most recent Prudent Pantry column is about holidays and the havoc they wreak on the budget. And I seem to have forgotten to link to last week’s column, on cooking for just one person.

I’m also writing for Sckoon‘s blog. They sell organic cotton diapers, baby clothing, and menstrual pads and I love their products. (I’m getting paid for writing for them, but not for posting about it here. I really, truly do love their stuff. Wait till you see the dress I got for Gracie.) My latest post is on making the switch to reusable pads.

Indie Ink is back! Today’s post is amazing, and I was also especially taken with Monday’s i am eight. Please consider submitting your own essays and artwork.

Lastly, here is a book trailer I’d like you to watch. It’s a great trailer for a book that looks like it is going to be amazing.

Joelle (whom I’ve become friendly with lately, and my goodness she is lovely) is holding a contest to win a CD by Emma Beaton, whose music you hear in the trailer. Check it out!

EDITED TO ADD: My friend Mindi’s author website is live! I love love love Mindi so very much, and can’t wait for her book to come out! I read a very early draft and even then it was amazing. Also, FACT: Mindi is the cutest person on earth.

Now, go click some links.

The Internet is Pissing Me Off.

First I accidentally hit publish on an unfinished post. I immediately changed it back to a draft, and made it private to boot, but fucking Google managed to catch it in the five seconds it existed and it showed up on Google Reader just now.

Then I tried to create a mosaic of belly pictures so I could post about how insane it is that I am 36 weeks pregnant and it’s almost Christmas and then it will be 2010 and where did the time go but the mosaic maker at big huge labs isn’t working for me.

Actually, I think it was just those two things that pissed me off, but it felt like a hundred all at once. So let’s just say there were 98 other annoyances and I am just not writing about them.

Oh, Internet. You’re so full of assholes.

So it turns out that the only possible reason for Sam not being very verbal and not understanding 100% what it means to have an impending sibling is that he is autistic.

YEAH.

How silly of me not to see it. I only spend all of my time with him, whereas the person who told me this has never seen him or in fact heard of him before.

That’ll teach me to ask for recommendations for books/videos/etc. about having a new baby in the family. If he hasn’t absorbed the knowledge by osmosis and magic then he needs a specialist! I will get right on that.

(If anyone has recommendations for preparing an older sibling that don’t involve criticizing me, I am all ears. Or eyes, as the case may be.)

Oh, Facebook.

I was just looking through an album of photos taken at an old friend’s wedding. Whenever I came across an adult I didn’t recognize, I scrolled down to see if the picture was tagged. One of them turned out to be an ex-boyfriend of mine. Several pictures later, he turned up again. I looked at the tags both times.

I did not recognize him, and it’s not because he looks very different. He doesn’t. I just forgot what he looks like. Granted, yes, it’s been 13 years. But I am just going to laugh at myself anyway because OMG I FORGOT WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I was going to name him (why the heck not?) but I realized that I always refer to him by first and last name, not in some weird My So-Called Life thing but because of a mix tape I made after we broke up. It wasn’t like all the mix tapes I made for Will when we were separated (which were OMG kind of pukey, and I found one recently but that’s another entry). It was a mix tape for me, because I was angry. I had dumped him after some fairly major transgressions (and also realizing that I didn’t really like him very much–awkward!) but I was still ticked off so I made this tape. It was called “Fuck You, [First Name Last Name]” and I have referred to him by his full name ever since. And sure, I could just refer to him by his first name here (it’s Eric) but it just wouldn’t seem right.

I still have the tape, actually, despite not having any way to play it. (Well, I still have a tape deck, but my stereo is not hooked up. Also I might have a walkman somewhere, but good grief there is enough of a AA battery shortage around here without me adding to it for this.) I really want to hunt it down so I can look at the track listing, but it’s under the stairs and I don’t know if you’ve seen all the stuff I have crammed under there but Trust Me, you do not want me to start digging now. I might not get out again until Christmas.

So, anyway. I do not have a point at all. Unless it’s to out the fact that it is no longer true if I say that I have no idea what any of my exes are up to. I mean, I still have no idea what he’s up to, but I know he was in a wedding recently. And by extension, I know that he still lives in the Hudson Valley (probably) and is still alive (almost certainly).

And also that maybe I am not going to look at Facebook anymore.

Meeting Internet Weirdos

I didn’t put this in the last post, even though it is pretty random, because I thought it deserved its own mention.

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Last week Sam and I had a playdate with Brenda and Bug! We’d intended to go swimming but it was chilly and overcast so we went to the playground instead, and then watched a movie and ate snacks (I was unprepared to feed them a proper lunch, which I felt terrible about, but I think everyone was OK).

We had so much fun! And of course I did not take a single picture, but I did steal the one above from Brenda. And if you’re friends with her on Flickr you can see a cute one of the kids here.

Of course, it turns out that neither of them is very weird, but I refuse to think of my internet friends as anything but weirdos (and occasionally ax murderers).

This is the last straw.

Twitter has been down all morning. Which is annoying, but not world-ending. But now? MAFIA WARS IS NOT LOADING.

What am I supposed to do? Work? I am half asleep and I want to goof off online while Sam watches cartoons!

Since I am too distraught to do anything but whimper pathetically, here is a nice picture I took in April of 2008. I’m sure I’ve posted it before, but you’ll live.

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I am a horrible person.

A while ago I joined the Big Damn Knitters group on Ravelry. Because, you know, I like Firefly. I don’t really participate in the group discussions, but occasionally I read them. Mostly I just ignore the group, though.

Every time I am on the main forums page and I scroll past the BDK group, I see the subject line of what seems to be a fairly active post: “Could Firefly come back?” And I absolutely cannot click on it because I know that if I did it would be for the sole purpose of replying, “No.” As it is, I have a tendancy to yell, “Nope!” every time I see it.

See? Horrible person.

How to win followers and disgust people

Announce on Twitter that you’ve just cooked testicles.

Seriously, it works like a charm. I got five or six new followers inside of an hour, and only one of them was a spammer.

I also got some truly hilarious reactions from assorted friends, many of whom were horrified. Clarifying that the testicles formerly belonged to a bison didn’t really help, either.

Anyway, just an FYI.

YouTube, we need to talk.

YouTube, I miss hot coffee. I mean, I really miss hot coffee. I had some, about ten minutes ago, but it has disappeared forever and there is some cold, coffee-like liquid in my mug in its place.

YouTube, when Will makes a play list of videos for Sammy, with lightsaber battles and Voltron clips and Queen videos, he does it because Sam loves to watch those things; when I press Play All on that play list, I do it so I can DRINK MY GODDAMN COFFEE WHILE IT IS HOT.

YouTube, your definition of ‘Play All’ does not bear much resemblance to mine. Perhaps it is unreasonable of me but I expect you to play all the videos in the play list. Not play two of them and then stop because surely that is enough. You know what two videos is enough for? It is enough for me to pour that coffee, to mix in the half-and-half, to sit down with my computer (the modern day newspaper, as you know, YouTube) and to take perhaps one sip before Sam gets bored because his play list has stopped. Do you know what Sam does when he is bored, YouTube? He climbs on me, preventing me from doing much of anything but especially from drinking my coffee.

YouTube, I am not a very nice person when I am not allowed to drink my coffee. I would like to be a nice person and you have the power to help me. So when I say play all, you will fucking play all from now on. Are we clear?