Fixed that for you.

I accidentally clicked on a terrible “article” this morning. Between the text and the stock photographs I just had to improve it.

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1. He is more interested in something up on the ceiling than in your advances. WHAT IS ON THE CEILING?

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2. She’s yelling at you with a megaphone. PUT THE MEGAPHONE DOWN, LADY.

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3. He is better at video games than you. Or even worse, he THINKS he is better at video games than you. LET HER HAVE THE CONTROLLER ONCE IN A WHILE, YOU CAD.

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4. She pretends not to know you in public. DANGER!

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5. She steals your sandwich. HE IS HUNGRY TOO, LADY.

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6. You are both just too goth to live.

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7. She leans on you when you’re trying to make a shot. WHAT THE HELL LADY HE IS TRYING TO MAKE A SHOT.

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8. You are literally screaming in each other’s faces. Also maybe you are both Italian? I mean, look at that gesturing. Actually, you two should probably just go to bed together.

Gracie and the Wizard in Oz

*title is a take-off of the title of the sixth (I think) Oz book.

So today we did this:

image

Grace was mesmerized. When Dorothy is a prisoner and the Wicked Witch turns over the hourglass, I peeked at Grace’s face to see if she was all right. She huffily turned and said, “I’m not afraid of anything!” so I guess that’s that. (She is so fierce. I love her so much.)

A few minutes later I happened on a link to this Wizard of Oz theme park, which has been closed for nearly my entire lifetime but opens to visitors once a year, and this weekend is it.

Then I remembered that once upon a time I wrote some stuff for Blogging.LA about strange Oz-related rumors.

Real-life Munchkinland

Oz sets used to build the 10

The best part of all of this (other than Grace) is the small worldliness of it all. I met my friend Burns through blogging.la, he introduced me to roller derby, and another ref posted the link that got me looking at blogging.la again.

Cameras and Kids and Incurring My Wrath

Yesterday I threw a hissy-fit on Twitter.

I know what you’re thinking, and no, that is not exactly news. Shut up.

I think I can best get across what happened by just showing you. Also I want to play with Storify. (ETA: Storify isn’t playing nice with my template, you might have to scroll down. I think it’s time to change up the look of my blog. It’s been almost seven years!)

This is Why I Don’t Like Facebook

So I was on Facebook earlier, because it is the best place for me to keep up with an old friend who is getting a divorce. And I noticed that the “People You May Know” thingy in the corner was suggesting someone I HATE (or at least, hated when I knew him 15ish years ago) alongside someone I’ve never heard of. Out of curiosity, I clicked on the “See All” link. I know what you’re thinking, and yes; THAT WAS A MISTAKE.

First of all, the next time I looked at the clock three hours had passed.

But seriously, the entire list was people who fit into one of four categories:

  • I hate them.
  • I have no idea who they are.
  • Will went to college with them.
  • My mother-in-law.

Yeah.

But do you want to know THE WORST PART? Of course you do.

I kept coming across names that are so familiar. Like I’d see someone named Evan, and based on our mutual friends I’d think, “I wonder if that’s the Evan I went out with once when I was 16,” so I’d click through to his profile, only that doesn’t help because all I remember about that Evan is that he had long blondish hair and a nice mother, and this Evan has short hair that might have once been blonde but who can tell, and Facebook doesn’t know anything at all about his mom.

So that is why I don’t like Facebook.

I may be too literal.

Today I watched this video from a Jezebel post that someone shared on Google Reader. (Moderately NSFW, requires sound.)

Did you watch? You probably are thinking, “Good for her,” am I right? Well, I agree, but…

Jezebel described it as a video of a woman “eviscerating her subway attacker.” I EXPECTED TO SEE VISCERA. I am deeply disappointed.

Art: perfection

You aren’t the only one who feels worthless sometimes.

You aren’t the only one who took your frustrations out on your children today.

You aren’t the only one who isn’t making enough money to support your lifestyle.

You aren’t the only one who has questions and doubts about your religion.

You aren’t the only one who sometimes says things that really hurt other people.

Go read. It’s, well, perfect.