Obsession, 8-year-old style

Let’s talk about Sam and Aliens.

So, my eight-year-old son is obsessed with James Cameron’s 1986 action/horror/sci-fi movie Aliens. Perhaps you’ve heard of it. Perhaps you are thinking, He is too young to see that movie! Yes, well. I agree. And he hasn’t seen it. YET.

But he wants to, desperately.

He brings it up frequently. The other day he turned to me out of the blue and said, “Mom, I really want to see Aliens now. It might be a spooky one, but it’s okay. I might be scared, but I just have to find out. I really want to see it.”

And why, you may be wondering, is he so obsessed with this movie? The board game. He plays the board game, and the flash version of the board game, frequently. He does voices for the marines. He refuses to leave an injured man behind. The other day when I was playing with him, he had one of the guys GO BACK for Vasquez. Which, actually…

Anyway. He loves the world so much. He knows all the characters and has a favorite (Hicks, thank goodness). He can tell you in great detail why we do not like Burke. He knows everything but what the movie is actually like.

I won’t lie, I might let him watch it. Nothing has scared him yet. Literally ever. And honestly, the most disturbingly violent thing shown on screen is an android–excuse me, synthetic human–being skewered. (Yes, of course we re-watched it this weekend to help us decide what to do. Holy shit the blu-ray looks amazing.)

Customer Service, or something like it.

I took the children to a museum recently, and we shared a grilled cheese sandwich at the cafe. I found a bit of hair in the very last bite, and could see in the kitchen that everyone had short hair, but no head coverings. I brought the plate up to the counter and let them know, pointing out that bandannas would be helpful. (I think it’s against the law to have uncovered heads in a professional kitchen, but I’m not positive.) They didn’t seem at all interested in my feedback, but insisted on refunding me the price of the sandwich. Which was nice, and the right thing to do, but I hadn’t asked for it. I wanted change and they wanted an easy fix. I was disappointed.

On Saturday I ordered pizza for dinner from our local pizzeria, and when it arrived the pies were practically folded in half, clearly the result of being carried on end. I called the shop to let them know that they might want to tell the driver to be more careful. They immediately offered to send replacement pies. I refused, which shocked the young man on the phone. Like, he literally couldn’t understand that I didn’t want new pizza. Since only one slice out of 16 had lost its toppings, I thought replacing them was pointless and wasteful. I just wanted the driver to do his job. I wanted change and they wanted an easy fix.

Is this just how customer service is done now?

Strawberry Shortcake with Brown Sugar Biscuits

Every year I say I am going to have strawberry shortcake for my birthday, and every year something happens and I end up having something else. BUT NOT THIS YEAR.

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36 is the year to get shit done. As long as said shit involves dessert.

Brown Sugar Biscuits
loosely adapted from Sipsey’s Biscuits, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe

2 cups all purpose flour
1/4 cup brown sugar, lightly packed
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, cold, cut into small pieces
1/4 cup plain yogurt, ideally the watery bits from separated Greek yogurt
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
2/3-3/4 cup water

(The last three ingredients approximate buttermilk, and in my opinion make superior biscuits. You may substitute buttermilk.)

Preheat oven to 450. Prepare a large baking sheet with a silpat or parchment paper, or by lightly greasing it.

Combine first five (dry) ingredients in a medium-sized mixing bowl and whisk together. Add butter pieces and combine by squeezing with your fingertips until most of the butter pieces have broken down and the mixture resembles cornmeal.

Whisk wet ingredients together in a measuring cup, using enough water to equal one cup of liquid. Add to butter mixture and combine with a spoon or fork. You may need to turn the dough with your hands a few times to finish combining the wet and dry ingredients; do not overmix.

With a large spoon, make drop biscuits about 1-inch apart on your baking sheet, shaping them with your hands if needed. Makes about 12 large biscuits.

Bake for about 15 minutes, checking after 10 and rotating the baking sheet if necessary. When golden brown, remove from oven and allow to cool for 10 minutes or more.

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Fresh Vanilla Whipped Cream

Combine about 1 cup heavy cream with 1-2 teaspoons powdered sugar and 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract. You may beat with an electric whisk until peaks form, or shake in a mason jar until there is no more sloshing.

Strawberry Shortcake

My preferred way to serve strawberry shortcake is to slice a biscuit in half and spread it with a teaspoon (or a little more!) of lemon curd. Pile one side high with strawberry slices (this is the one time I will endorse sprinkling them with a little sugar, which should be done about 15 minutes before you prep, or when the biscuits go in the oven) and top with whipped cream.

Random

My main observation from nearly three weeks of our new eating regime is that the children’s personalities are exactly as I suspected.

Sam wants to please us. He will try anything. Just pops it in his mouth and chews it up. But he doesn’t like any of it. He coughs and fake-chokes and is dramatic about all of it. He won’t let himself really taste things.

Grace does not give a damn about pleasing us, but her natural curiosity wins out over stubbornness about half the time. She has found several new foods that she LOVES.

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We’re rearranging our apartment. I know what you’re thinkng–AGAIN?!–but beyond moving a chair or something, we only rearrange ever 2-3 years, which is less frequently than most people move, so you do the math.

Sam and Grace have their own room. Sometimes one or both of them disappears for hours. Most nights they go to sleep in their own beds, thought here are nights like last night, when grace was feeling anxious and sad about losing co sleeping, and I brought her out to falls sleep in my bed.

…Which is in the living room. It’s temporary, and was a great transition point for everyone, but I’m ready for more privacy and the apartment isn’t. Yet.

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I miss sewing. My work area, which was a disaster to begin with, is totally non-functional as I sort through the mess. I have clothing to sew! My wardrobe is on the right track for the first time in years, damn it!

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What’s new with you? I feel out of touch.

Sourpuss

I was the penalty tracker in this Saturday’s derby dolls game. Photographer Grant Palmer took this photo of me comparing penalty sheets with penalty box administrators Sweep-the-leg Johnny and Namaslay.

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I cannot stop laughing. MY FACE! I look like I am sucking on a lemon. (Click to embiggen.)

Day 16

I promise I will talk about something else eventually, but not today.

Because.

GRACE IS EATING A PULLED PORK SANDWICH.

Sure, I still haven’t convinced either kid to eat more than a bite of any vegetable. It’s still a win.

Day, um. 13ish.

Last night, as I was preparing dinner, Sam came into the kitchen and said, “Is that TOFU?” When I confirmed that it was, he said, “Can I HAVE some?” And I managed to say, “Just ONE piece” without dying from the suppressed laughter because OH MY GOD MY BOY ASKED FOR TOFU.

Dinner was sesame noodles, but I also put out a bowl of noodles with just soy sauce. Sam ate a quarter pound of tofu and Grace had half a chicken thigh, so I allowed them to choose which noodle dish they wanted, and they both chose soy sauce. I also made salad, and they both tried it. GRACE TRIED SALAD. AND LIKED IT. Apparently French vinaigrette (with Dijon mustard, wine vinegar, and olive oil) is MAGIC.

Not every meal has been this successful, but they have eaten more foods in the last two weeks than in the last two years.

Day 5

Today at lunch Sam said this:

“Well, I love trying new things!”

He then ate half a quesadilla, even though he did not particularly like it. IS THIS REAL LIFE?

Grace is still being a pain, but sliiiiiightly less of a pain? Maybe? Could be wishful thinking or resignedness.

I’ve added a second snack to our day. Four meals meant SO MUCH WHINING. Five seems more manageable.

For tonight’s dinner I am making Bread Alone baguettes and zucchini soup (kind of–I’m not following the recipe, just the basic idea). I know they will eat baguette. Will they eat a vegetable?