Through The Looking Glass

After finishing up the stovetops and bandanna pants, I immediately stopped making stuff. I wasn’t totally burned out, though I was on my way. It’s just that I forgot to do anything else while I was sewing those things, so I had some catching up to do. What’s that, family? You want to eat dinner? Oh dear.

So I baked some bread and made soup with the leftover turkey (it was going to be tortilla soup but I forgot to buy tortillas so the less we say about that, the better), and I have the stuff out to bake cookies this morning, and if I know what’s good for me I will at least start to put some of the great piles of laundry away.

But then I am going to make some more stuff. After all, it is December.

This Year’s Projects:

• Mistletoe. I’ve already knitted several of these, and have some red ribbon waiting to tie them together after they’re felted. I do have to buy buttons to act as berries.
• Mitten ornaments for the grandparents. I made some last year using Sam’s handprints and I thought I’d make it a yearly tradition.
• Sam’s alphabet hanging. I’m sort of leaving this for last minute because there is almost no sewing, just cutting out of letters. I do need to buy buttons and sew those on.
• A few more stovetops for friends I’ve promised them to.

Plus some non-holiday kid projects that must be finished:

• Buttons need to go on Sam’s owlet sweater. (And on mine!)
• I need to bind the floor quilt I made Otter and finish binding Dolly’s quilt.
• The kimono tops I made for Sam, Otter, and Dolly need to be finished.
• And I have plain t-shirts for both kids to decorate. I was thinking felt rocket ships.

Most of my work involves buttons (mistletoe, alphabet, owls) and/or bias tape (floor quilt, kimono tops). And so much felt! So the first thing I am doing, of course, is starting a new knitting project. Because why on earth not?

*****

P.S. Today is the last day for you to get free shipping on Etsy orders! Please visit my shop if you need a holiday gift for a toddler.

I feel like it took me forever to get my shop updated! Sewing takes so much longer at eight months pregnant. But it is done, and if you are shopping for a toddler this year I hope you will consider buying something from me. To encourage you a bit, I am offering blog readers 20% off for all of December. Just mention that you read my blog in the notes to seller, and I will refund you the difference. PLUS, if you order by the end of the day Friday (December 4th), I will give you free shipping. All orders placed this week will ship on Monday.

Happy Shopping!

To the debt collector who asked how it came to be that our income is less than our expenses:

“Maybe you haven’t heard, but our country is in a huge recession. Not only is my husband lucky enough to have a full-time job, but it’s a good job. It pays better than plenty of other jobs in the field and he isn’t likely to be laid off. When he took the job, it put us in a terrific position financially, in that we could continue to pay off our debt while not starving. That same week, I got laid off, which meant that we had to choose between credit cards and food. We chose the obvious one.

“You may not consider what I do now a job, since it doesn’t help us to pay your company any of what we owe on these credit cards, but I am not in any position to get a ‘real’ job and even if I were, there aren’t any.

“You seem real nice, but I think you are completely oblivious to reality. There is no work. Even a good job like my husband’s is not enough to support a small family. Every year he gets a 3% raise and our rent goes up 4%. Do you see how the math does not work there? The worse the economy gets, the more expensive basic living becomes. Gasoline prices are up, food prices have tripled. Instead of everybody helping everybody out, people like us are getting screwed. Our income is too high to qualify for assistance, but too low to exist on.

“I would like to work out some sort of payment plan, but I’d also like to get glasses so I can see, and a haircut and maybe just once splurge and get a $25 mani/pedi. I can’t do those things and I can’t pay off this debt. I’m sorry that upsets you. I’m sure you think we’ve made bad choices.

“But don’t tell me that if the bank had known, they wouldn’t have given me a credit card to begin with. It was 2003, the economy was great, and they gave it to me despite the fact that I had bad credit, no job, and was not then married to my husband. If ever there was a credit risk, it was me. And yet, they gave me a credit card. They didn’t care, so don’t try to make it my fault. I didn’t even apply for the thing–the bank pushed it on me. True story.

“And really? I meant it when I said you seem nice, but I might have to reconsider since you seem so irritated with me for knowing my legal rights. I’m terribly sorry to inconvenience you, but I really do have the right to have the phone calls stop. You cannot threaten me with continued calls and then be upset when I tell you I can make them stop. It is the law, not something I am making up.

“I hope you have a nice evening. I will. Being totally broke means I spend every evening with my family. They’re wonderful, even if we don’t have any money.”

Until last week, Sam had gone his entire life refusing to eat cookies. He might have eaten one when he was much smaller, but from age two onward he definitely had not touched so much as one cookie.

Imagine my surprise when he decided that COOKIES! ARE! GREAT! and ate half of MY reward cookies.

As happens with store-bought cookies, we ran out. And we were sad. And today Sam asked for a cookie and I said we could make some. He got really excited but since I have not made cookies since his boycott began, I’m not sure he really understands. He did grab his apron and put it on, though he immediately took it back off.

I just can’t wait until he sees that we made cookies.

I meant to take pictures today. I brought the Nikon that I still have not learned to use properly, and I played with it a bit in the car. I carried it into our friends’ apartment, set my bag down, and proceeded to ignore it for two and a half hours while I played with their five month old daughter, supervised Sam, and–joy of joys!–watched Sam play with Hazel.

He does NOT like it when babies cry.

He DOES like pushing babies in their swings.

He likes babies’ toys, and wants them for himself.

He might, maybe, have gotten it when I explained that the baby in my belly is like Hazel.

He is OK with Mama holding and loving a baby, as long as I will love him too.

He will kiss and pat a baby, but he will also get a little rough if no one is supervising closely.

I wish I had a picture of them together, but I was too busy being there.

This Morning.

Will: Sam, do you want to go out to the desert and climb rocks?

Sam: No.

Me, showing Sam a photo of Vasquez Rocks: Sam, do you want to go here?

Sam: OH! Yeah, okay, okay, oh yeah.

Yesterday.

We were driving home from Griffith Park. I was winded from climbing a small hill, and by climbing I really mean walking. My hips joints and pelvis were aching from carrying around this enormous belly full of baby. My skin was itching from stretching over said belly the last few days. (I swear it stretched so much on Thanksgiving I got a new stretch mark. I am not sure I should admit that because it means I really really really overate.) I was tired.

And I said to Will, “I think I won’t go with you tomorrow.” And I think he was kind of shocked, because he is always telling me I can take some time off while he and Sam go adventuring, and I am always wanting to not be left out. But I need a rest and they need to be unencumbered.

Today.

They are wearing almost matching outfits and look so cute I could just squeal every time I glance up. They have breakfasted and filled the canteen and pretty soon they will leave and I will eat alllll the cookies. Er, I mean I will work on some sewing and maybe put up a few Christmas decorations. Yes, that is definitely what I mean.

We went shopping today. I KNOW, WE ARE CRAZY. But wait. We went to ONE store that was having a Black Friday sale, and it was a tiny boutique bra shop. Owned and operated by Jenette Goldstein. YES, I MEAN VASQUEZ. She has now seen my boobs. And sold me a black nursing bra. (It might be silly to buy a nursing bra before my milk comes in and giganticizes my boobs, but no sillier than it would be to buy a non-nursing bra six weeks before changing my name to Bessie.) We also went to the hardware store, the button store, the yarn store, and the army surplus store. We are mad adventurous.

We considered stopping at Frys (or Best Buy) because we need blank CDs and a card reader and why not buy them on sale, but the parking lots were crazy so we were like FUCK NO. We can buy them tomorrow or Sunday or even next week.

We broke up all the boring shopping with a stop in Griffith Park where we rode the carousel, the ponies, and the train. Well. Only Sam rode a pony. Will and I would probably break them.

Thus concludes this incredibly boring update. What did you do today?

I spent a fair chunk of this morning moaning and complaining here and on Twitter. I probably looked like a whiny ingrate. But the fact is that channeling all my frustrations onto the internet allowed me to remain perfectly cheerful and to power through everything I had to get done despite near-crippling exhaustion. Dinner was wonderful, even if I overate to the point that I was afraid I might not be able to cross off “not go into pre-term labor” from my to-do list.

Luckily it seems that Otter is staying put. One more thing to be thankful for (and I have many).

It is probably silly to show you the only things I did not make from scratch, but this is the prettiest picture I took today. And I did candy those pecans.

Sam climbed into bed with me around midnight and spent the next two hours whimpering and kicking. It eventually woke Will up, and he suggested I move Sam to the middle of the bed so we’d both sleep better. Only doing so woke me up enough that I eventually had to get up because it was that or wake the boys up by crying over how uncomfortable I was.

I really hate this part of pregnancy. It makes no sense whatsoever for the last month or two leading up to the birth to be this sleep-deprived. Not to mention sore–the extra weight and pressure on my pelvis is starting to make everything else difficult.

Today is a day to be thankful, but I’m going to need to be grouchy for a bit first.

Or at least the secret to shopping at Trader Joe’s the day before Thanksgiving. And I am going to share it with you!

I pre-forgave every one of my fellow shoppers.

The douchebag who went the wrong way in the parking lot and stole my spot? No problem! There was another spot!

The woman who said “Excuse me” and reached in front of me to get butter, preventing me from getting butter myself even though I was standing right in front of it? Heck, at least she said excuse me.

Everyone who left their carts in the middle of the already too narrow aisles, preventing anyone from going anywhere? Whatever, I was not in a hurry.

It was slightly irritating to have to extend my goodwill to the driver on our way home who cut across two lanes of traffic in order to come to a dead stop in front of me just as I’d shifted into fourth gear, but I had plenty of time to stop so I even forgive her.

Now, lest you think that your favorite cynical bitch has been hit in the head or something, you should know that I bribed myself with cookies. And that I am certain this won’t last. Though I’m hoping to stretch it out a little, since it does help keep stress levels down. (Also recommended for stress: an awesome assistant named Sam. He has been terrific this morning.)